Tuesday, March 1, 2011

And im like "Fuck you..."

Yeah... it's official, Xurt and Wendy are "mag on" or aka together now. Yes, i cried all night the moment i heard the news but eventually i became alright. I bet Wendy's posse, Abby, Elyzza and Kassel, were so proud with their achievement of helping out Wendy win over Xurt that their testosterone and pride were satisfied for an hour and in Abby and Kassel's part, they were prouder of this so-called achievement than the fact they both passed the UPCAT. As the months go by, i see them professing their love for each other by their profile pics (In Wendy's pic, she was like wearing a "Diaz" shirt and Xurt with both hands with fingers forming "W"). One of Xurt's pics even made Xurt look like a jerk in the current Third Year's way of thinking. Their judgment over poor Xurt was really harsh that they call him "Wow Ulam". I feel quite sad for him that i wanted to lash back at them "So, kung yun naman ang gusto ni Xurt na iparating kay Wendy na pagmamahal, pabayaan nyo nalang sya". And last, last, last(i dunno, but it coincided with my mom's third death anniversary when i saw it) week, i found out that i was being unfriended by Xurt on FB. It turned out that Xurt and Wendy had an argument about me, according to Dale when i told him the miserable thing that happened. I never poked into their monkey business ever since they've hooked up, why on earth will they fight over me and eventually have me unfriended by Xurt?! By the way Xurt treated me, they probably had a fight really much intense that i never such had when i was still the apple of Xurt's seemingly Chinese eyes- According to my Lit 14 prof yesterday, your crush or significant other usually share a lot of characteristics that you like with your mom(if youre a guy) or your dad(if you're a girl). That thing is called "Oedipus Complex". It was probably much more intense than the "Kaye issue" we had before. Speaking of Kaye, i remember when i still knew his password, i came upon his messages and one of his messages(dating from march 2010) was from Kaye Macalalad, his old crush. Kaye got a boyfriend in Switzerland, which left Xurt devastated. When Xurt found out that she got a boyfriend, she said sorry to him. And while he was having a broken heart, he told Kim Macalalad, his friend who got a crush on him back then, told her of his woes. After all of what happened to them, they still remained friends.
It could be terribly hard for Xurt back then, but if he was to read this blog post right now(which i think he will never do), he would tell me that i will eventually find a guy better than him just like what happened to him with Kaye(pshhh... Kaye is WAY BETTER than Wendy). His problem back then is probably nothing compared with the way he is treating me now. When he hooked up with Wendy, unlike Kaye, he doesn't mind those around him. When Kaye hooked up with her boyfriend, she said sorry to Xurt. When he hooked up with Wendy, unlike Kaye, i got unfriended. When Kaye hooked up with her boyfriend, she did not unfriend Xurt. The only person i know that he unfriended was his father, so if he's treating me the way he's treating his father, then i would treat him they way i treat my father. He might say if ever he knew how i reacted with this shit of his, "I did this because Wendy is super way better than you, that you are a notorious "Selosa" that you made selos on Kaye and Wendy while Wendy only became selosa on you, and why would I go back to you? blah bla blah blah blah blah..."
It's not the point, the number of the people i've been jealous with doesn't matter but it's how we dealt with the issues thrown at us. My jealousy with Kaye went away when Xurt once told me that he and Kaye are not compatible enough while me and him are compatible. After him saying that, i don't feel heavy and troubled about Kaye anymore. And that peace of mind had no unfriending and frenzied downpour of affection with lots of effort in Xurt's part involved.

It could be a bit immature to do so, but i felt that this is the way to get over him once and for all. And it will not be as harsh as the third years'. I plan to write on my reflection paper about my heartbreak with Xurt and how i am making progress in getting over him. I will write as if he will not come back and i will write all my heart out just to get myself a B+ or an A and move on as i move on with my bleak but interesting freshman year. After all, a reflection paper is all about pouring in your feelings to make yourself feel better.