Last tuesday there was no classes so i decided to visit my long time best friend and fellow Montessori alumni Gt Hidalgo. In his condo room, Gt and i exchanged some news from Montessori that we both find terrifying. It turned out that Gt also shared the same kind of view on the present condition of Montessori. According to Gt, Montessori turned into something like "Love in the club..." and that students there, instead of treating each other as something like brothers and sisters(like we used to do) and usually having romatic relationships from kids from other schools, they just hook up with each other. It seemed like everyone in Montessori has his/her own romantic partner or someone to be linked with. Kash Kraft(Mrs. Dancing Zombie's lil sis) now has a boyfriend and (you'll never guess who he is...) he is none other than the kid who piss Montessori off big time, VK Castillo(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...lolz). And the worst thing there is that those people who should discourage these kinds of things and set examples are the ones who are fucking propagating this kind of balderdash. Wendy used to get into a fight with Xurt everytime she would try to get close with him, until one(totally unfortunate) day, she sought the help of her bffs Elyzza, Kassel, Twinkle and Abby. One day, they went to SM Lipa to celebrate Twinkle's birthday by inviting Karlo and Xurt. Then kaboom... Wendy successfully had Xurt worshiping on her feet and stripped Xurt's affections for me. The prospects of Xurt coming back to me is bleak and unclear. This will go on just as long as those 5 girls are still together(that means they haven't left for college yet) and when the time comes that they will depart from each other the way our closely-knit batch departed, im afraid that Xurt will have no feelings for me anymore. But i will be so happy if one day someone doorbelled my condo in Loyola Heights or looked for me in school and it turned out to be Xurt with a bouquet of roses(or other flowers) and a box of chocolates, smiling that seemed to be sunshine like the last time we met.
Back to the IJ Montessori is being a second-rate, trying hard, copycat version of Powhvedahh, Montessori is being like a phoney version of Poveda since both are into romance, boys, flirtiness and speaking Spanish(Hey did you know, the new teacher who looks like JR, sir JP teaches the High School in Espanyol). Thank God for Povedans at least they do super well in school and they value their education more. those from Montessori dont care about education and how it will affect them anymore, they dont even do their responsibilities as student leaders. All they value the most in their lives is popularity and how to satisfy their testosterones and kilig hormones.
Montessori is really going crazy.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
The unbearable seach and lightness of being
It has been almost a week since i bid my farewell to Xurt as his lover and it was a feeling that made me feel so light and free for the first time but at the same time so unbearable. It has been almost a week too when i first read the first part of Milan Kundera's book "The Unbearable Lightness of being" in which it explains what lightness/heaviness is and the myth of eternal return- both of which fit my situation. Also, a few days before that, i read some things in Edgar Calabia Samar's book "Ang mga diwata ng pagkahulog" that startled me as well
My love for Xurt was a really beautiful kind of love- it was so sweet, secure and as soft as marshmallow. But that love was being weighed down with jealousy, distrust, betrayal of oneself and the stress of a long distant relationship(even though we never become each other). Sadly though, there came a time when his affections were transferred back to Wendy and i have to exit out of his love life. All was left was nothing but the beauty of the memory of the love we had and friendship without much interaction(as if the last time we talked was the JS and we just hanged out as...friends). Before, i was being weighted down with problems, misery and pain, all because i longed for the burden of his embrace. Then there was lightness at last but it was unbearable. It was unbearable because the beauty of my love for him keeps on coming back but the guy who used to love me too will never come back. When we experience something, they are not that special or we take for granted those that are actually happening to us and we often treat them as burdens or things that weigh us down. But when we lose the things that brings us down to earth, we tend to feel as light as air but we began to feel the burden of losing those things that makes us closer to earth. All that remained is the beauty and the preciousness of the things we lost and so painful that we wish that they will come back to us.
"Hindi na natin madadaanan ang mga daan na hindi natin pinili. Kung gayon man, ang mga pangyayari ay paulit ulit kahit pa masabi natin na umuunlad tayo. Sa una, mukhang magkakaiba ang ibig sabihin ng mga pangyayari pero iisa lamang sila." and "Pag ang mga tao ay may hinahanap, iba ang nahahanap nila pero sa huli masaya pa rin sila"- pinsan ni kevin
It's like i found the friend i lost a long time ago but now i lost the lover i found in the friend i was long looking for. When i decided to give up, let go and move on, it was certainly like my last sportsfest. I searched among the crowd from Lipa for any signs of my two peeps but i gave up because what is the use of looking for some people whom you don't recognize anymore and don't even know their last names. But the only difference was that i have no terrible feeling with giving up the search(only pagkahinayang)and it took me a second to decide to find them again or just give up.
... Bahala na si Saint Iggy. :|
My love for Xurt was a really beautiful kind of love- it was so sweet, secure and as soft as marshmallow. But that love was being weighed down with jealousy, distrust, betrayal of oneself and the stress of a long distant relationship(even though we never become each other). Sadly though, there came a time when his affections were transferred back to Wendy and i have to exit out of his love life. All was left was nothing but the beauty of the memory of the love we had and friendship without much interaction(as if the last time we talked was the JS and we just hanged out as...friends). Before, i was being weighted down with problems, misery and pain, all because i longed for the burden of his embrace. Then there was lightness at last but it was unbearable. It was unbearable because the beauty of my love for him keeps on coming back but the guy who used to love me too will never come back. When we experience something, they are not that special or we take for granted those that are actually happening to us and we often treat them as burdens or things that weigh us down. But when we lose the things that brings us down to earth, we tend to feel as light as air but we began to feel the burden of losing those things that makes us closer to earth. All that remained is the beauty and the preciousness of the things we lost and so painful that we wish that they will come back to us.
"Hindi na natin madadaanan ang mga daan na hindi natin pinili. Kung gayon man, ang mga pangyayari ay paulit ulit kahit pa masabi natin na umuunlad tayo. Sa una, mukhang magkakaiba ang ibig sabihin ng mga pangyayari pero iisa lamang sila." and "Pag ang mga tao ay may hinahanap, iba ang nahahanap nila pero sa huli masaya pa rin sila"- pinsan ni kevin
It's like i found the friend i lost a long time ago but now i lost the lover i found in the friend i was long looking for. When i decided to give up, let go and move on, it was certainly like my last sportsfest. I searched among the crowd from Lipa for any signs of my two peeps but i gave up because what is the use of looking for some people whom you don't recognize anymore and don't even know their last names. But the only difference was that i have no terrible feeling with giving up the search(only pagkahinayang)and it took me a second to decide to find them again or just give up.
... Bahala na si Saint Iggy. :|
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