The last time i met her, she was just a shy, harmless, friendly third year girl whom i knew, get to hang out with a little and often beside me in school pics since i was in first year. The very second i heard from Xurt that he was madly in love with her, she transformed into someone who is worse than Heather Chase. I never expected that she would be a source of melancholy for me.
I am filled with jealousy and hatred with that girl to the point i were given the chance to kill between her and Heather, i would kill her instead of the latter(Syempre, wala akong perang pamasahe papuntang New York or Hamburg and Heather is nonexistent). Don't be surprised when i come to Montessori's first day of classes to visit Jonats, Mark and some other friends, that i brought along a meteor hammer to disembowel her. -lol
That girl was Anna Noreen de Villar. Aka Wendy.
During those days when i was falling for Xurt, he suddenly told me that he's in love with Wendy. Back then, Xurt was so very sweet, funny, courteous and kind with me. I never met someone who is just like him. I never knew he could possibly plunge me into depths of deep depression and tears. I was in a kind of heartbreak that not even the powers of appreciating myself(like being an Atenista) would make it go away. Mind you, the girl responsible for making me emo again is dumber than Heather Chase, but i felt that she totally defeated and outsmarted me.
I told him once that i was jealous but he told me to please don't feel jealous.
Duh, as if someone who got a crush on you will simply stop being jealous.
He even got the guts to tell me "Wendy is the one who i want to be with, get it?"
If Tokio Hotel girlfriend rumors are to be believed, Xurt really made Bill look like a sensitive and considerate person since Bill never admits he is in love with anyone other than with his dogs on the media, lest fangirls worldwide(like me) will be heartbroken.
The only person Xurt is a bit close with who knows(and with whom i confide my pain) is CJ Recto, the classmate of his whom he warns me a huge BI. CJ was once a Wendy lover, until he laid his eyes on my sister(who doesn't like guys like him). Even if Xurt tells me that CJ is a huge epic fail, buti pa nga si CJ kasi at least nararamdaman nya kung gaano nasaktan ako sa pinagagagawa nya sa akin. CJ advised me to tell Xurt that im really hurt but i told him that i'll just wait for the right time.
As of now, im sending Xurt some implications that im heartbroken. I told him that i was heartbroken with some guy and i told him that this guy likes me but he's madly in love with some other girl but still he treats me as if he loves me as well. He told me that what i felt really hurts but im just being jealous. Although i want to tell him directly and frankly that im hurt because of him, i don't think it's a great idea. Maybe some days later, i'll ask him what if he was the one who was breaking my heart, how will he react and such. I still wanted to be friends with him that's why im hinting things ambiguously and i talk to him like a friend. This coming Tuesday, im off to Nuvali with my sis and ate Tetel to eat at Crisostomo's. I will definitely order sisig Isagani, bistek ni Pelaez and the Sinigang ni Gomez(sinigang ka pala, Xurt. Gt's peyborit...)
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
My highschool life in IJMCP
It was clear as if it was still yesterday when i asked a friend of my sister what highschool is like. I recently graduated from elementary, and i was a bit anxious about my upcoming first day in a new school and in a new chapter of my life. She told me that highschool was fun, full of lovelife and frogs to dissect. Based on my four years spent in IJMCP San Pablo, i wonder how will i describe "highschool" in my own little words...
When i was in first year, i found my new classmates GT, Julien, Dean, Gewy, Inah and Miggy really nice and fun to be with. In fact, they were the complete opposite of my mean, old classmates from Cahbriba. I was like Basilio when he moved from Letran to Ateneo, like Harry Potter when he first stepped into Hogwarts. In Cahbriba, my classmates just ignore and treat me like some loser while in Montessori, it's completely different. In Montessori, they dote and look at me like a very wonderful friend. Never before in my whole academic life i was treated as an equal by my own classmates. First year was my favorite year next to fourth year because it was studded with so much happy, innocent memories. It's unusual to hear about a highschool experience filled with memories like playing with Harry Potter and Naruto toys, ala Harry Potter dueling with pencils, Harry Potter roleplaying, Harry Potter discussions, Tarot card readings from Cardcaptor Sakura Cards, mad escapes from the wedding booth, first sweet moment ever happened(during my 13th bday, Keith spoonfed me with cake-lolz) and other kinds of wicked mischief one couldn't imagine.
But in 2nd year, things slightly changed.
When i was in 2nd year, two beloved classmates left us(Gewy and Miggy). But they were replaced by Alyssa Flores and Rafael Salazar. In my sophomore year, people in Montessori began to treat me like shit because some other new students are gracing and being doted on in the whole highschool department. My best friend Gt ditched me for Julien and new freshman girl KC Lacerna. Gt became a friend who is the best among my friends but he isn't considered a best friend to me anymore. My only best friend back then was the almost mute, new classmate Rafael Salazar(whom we affectionately call "Seksi Seksi"). Like what Ate Jel described me back then, i was really a low-profile student, just like Rafa. My sophomore year was definately the lowest ebb of my highschool life, not only i was depressed about my mom's condition but i am also sad about my life in school. My classmates doesn't talk that much to me anymore, i can't cope with that hag ma'am Flor's lessons, Keith hurts me day by day, people think im so epal, im often alone and no wonder i became the cynic everyone in school knew at present. Thank God i never lost my cool or else people in Montessori would have condemned me as crazy in a bad way. I would have transferred to Academia if it weren't for Dean, Julien and Rafa becoming Tokio Hotel fans like me. Ever since they saw and heard "Monsoon" on my ipod, they couldn't stop singing it everywhere even today. Like me, they like Bill back then better than the Bill today.
But my besmirched second year life is a bit good, i had fairly good grades, a really awesome ambition(to become a doctor/psychiatrist in Germany), people still give me some dignity and i have my own little world. I had some great memories in my second year such as the field trip in Star city(in which the bus ride home was kinda funny because KC, using her super primadonna powahs, had her horror/porn movie played until T.Mavic woke up and discovered it), the sports fest in Lipa, the Filipino quiz with questions about Harry Potter(in which the questions and answers are in ENGLISH and i scored the highest) and those moments when i find myself alone is more blissful than being with friends who turned jeje/BI.
By the time i hit third year, things began to bright up but still there are other bad things. In my third year, i enjoyed a slight improvent in my grades(since sir Ian stepped in as our new math teacher- whom im thankful to have since he teaches the subject much more clearly than t.Mavic) but i was unfortunate to have a sucky social life in school. In school, i was often alone. Rafa left me for Gt, Dean hangs around with Julien and Inah with a new girl called Rizelle. Then there was a new girl called Phoebe Ansama who often nags me to change my style into hers. Worse of all, there was a mad belief among the highschoolers that Harry Potter is satanic, thanks to the pompous, very influential, tubby man we call as "sir Jhoma" who suddenly went in our school to babble about nonsense. All these made me withdraw from the affairs of the school and into a world called Potterforums.com, where i enjoyed social acceptance, where i fought off sir Jhoma's powerful, hurtful words, stand by my own beliefs and had such wonderful friends like Keith Hutchins, Matt Scotton, GinnyX, Yasmine, Jayfer and last but not the least, Audrina Kaltiz whose claims are still doubtful up to this day. I never enjoyed my third year that much... I was in my own little world until my fourth(and last) year of highschool in Montessori came.
The summer before i started my fourth year, i promised myself not to withdraw from my classmates, spend as much time with them as i can and live my fourth year life to the fullest. On my fourth year, two dear classmates left(Inah and Rafa) Monte to spend their last year of highschool somewhere else. I also expected that i'll never had any close friends from the other levels, until Jonathan and Mark Malabanan came.
It was the year in which i faced academic successes as well as living my life as a teenager- having an awesome dad, surrounded with brilliant friends and having a love life at last on the last part.
When i first entered Montessori, i was a clumsier, liberal minded, UP dreaming 12 year old who yearned to change and live a new life. When i left Montessori, i got what i want and i left the school as a promising, loyal and faithful Montessorian who is ready to fulfill her dreams and face the real world no matter what.
When i was in first year, i found my new classmates GT, Julien, Dean, Gewy, Inah and Miggy really nice and fun to be with. In fact, they were the complete opposite of my mean, old classmates from Cahbriba. I was like Basilio when he moved from Letran to Ateneo, like Harry Potter when he first stepped into Hogwarts. In Cahbriba, my classmates just ignore and treat me like some loser while in Montessori, it's completely different. In Montessori, they dote and look at me like a very wonderful friend. Never before in my whole academic life i was treated as an equal by my own classmates. First year was my favorite year next to fourth year because it was studded with so much happy, innocent memories. It's unusual to hear about a highschool experience filled with memories like playing with Harry Potter and Naruto toys, ala Harry Potter dueling with pencils, Harry Potter roleplaying, Harry Potter discussions, Tarot card readings from Cardcaptor Sakura Cards, mad escapes from the wedding booth, first sweet moment ever happened(during my 13th bday, Keith spoonfed me with cake-lolz) and other kinds of wicked mischief one couldn't imagine.
But in 2nd year, things slightly changed.
When i was in 2nd year, two beloved classmates left us(Gewy and Miggy). But they were replaced by Alyssa Flores and Rafael Salazar. In my sophomore year, people in Montessori began to treat me like shit because some other new students are gracing and being doted on in the whole highschool department. My best friend Gt ditched me for Julien and new freshman girl KC Lacerna. Gt became a friend who is the best among my friends but he isn't considered a best friend to me anymore. My only best friend back then was the almost mute, new classmate Rafael Salazar(whom we affectionately call "Seksi Seksi"). Like what Ate Jel described me back then, i was really a low-profile student, just like Rafa. My sophomore year was definately the lowest ebb of my highschool life, not only i was depressed about my mom's condition but i am also sad about my life in school. My classmates doesn't talk that much to me anymore, i can't cope with that hag ma'am Flor's lessons, Keith hurts me day by day, people think im so epal, im often alone and no wonder i became the cynic everyone in school knew at present. Thank God i never lost my cool or else people in Montessori would have condemned me as crazy in a bad way. I would have transferred to Academia if it weren't for Dean, Julien and Rafa becoming Tokio Hotel fans like me. Ever since they saw and heard "Monsoon" on my ipod, they couldn't stop singing it everywhere even today. Like me, they like Bill back then better than the Bill today.
But my besmirched second year life is a bit good, i had fairly good grades, a really awesome ambition(to become a doctor/psychiatrist in Germany), people still give me some dignity and i have my own little world. I had some great memories in my second year such as the field trip in Star city(in which the bus ride home was kinda funny because KC, using her super primadonna powahs, had her horror/porn movie played until T.Mavic woke up and discovered it), the sports fest in Lipa, the Filipino quiz with questions about Harry Potter(in which the questions and answers are in ENGLISH and i scored the highest) and those moments when i find myself alone is more blissful than being with friends who turned jeje/BI.
By the time i hit third year, things began to bright up but still there are other bad things. In my third year, i enjoyed a slight improvent in my grades(since sir Ian stepped in as our new math teacher- whom im thankful to have since he teaches the subject much more clearly than t.Mavic) but i was unfortunate to have a sucky social life in school. In school, i was often alone. Rafa left me for Gt, Dean hangs around with Julien and Inah with a new girl called Rizelle. Then there was a new girl called Phoebe Ansama who often nags me to change my style into hers. Worse of all, there was a mad belief among the highschoolers that Harry Potter is satanic, thanks to the pompous, very influential, tubby man we call as "sir Jhoma" who suddenly went in our school to babble about nonsense. All these made me withdraw from the affairs of the school and into a world called Potterforums.com, where i enjoyed social acceptance, where i fought off sir Jhoma's powerful, hurtful words, stand by my own beliefs and had such wonderful friends like Keith Hutchins, Matt Scotton, GinnyX, Yasmine, Jayfer and last but not the least, Audrina Kaltiz whose claims are still doubtful up to this day. I never enjoyed my third year that much... I was in my own little world until my fourth(and last) year of highschool in Montessori came.
The summer before i started my fourth year, i promised myself not to withdraw from my classmates, spend as much time with them as i can and live my fourth year life to the fullest. On my fourth year, two dear classmates left(Inah and Rafa) Monte to spend their last year of highschool somewhere else. I also expected that i'll never had any close friends from the other levels, until Jonathan and Mark Malabanan came.
It was the year in which i faced academic successes as well as living my life as a teenager- having an awesome dad, surrounded with brilliant friends and having a love life at last on the last part.
When i first entered Montessori, i was a clumsier, liberal minded, UP dreaming 12 year old who yearned to change and live a new life. When i left Montessori, i got what i want and i left the school as a promising, loyal and faithful Montessorian who is ready to fulfill her dreams and face the real world no matter what.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
The Isagani of Montessori
Isagani of Jose Rizal's political novel, El Filibusterismo, was a sensitive and patriotic poet whose impulsive action to save his love, Paulita Gomez, had him unintentionally sabotaging Simoun's plan to blow up Paulita's wedding place- thus, totally destroying a step to free Philippines from the cruel Spaniards. Isagani studied in Ateneo de Manila and he is best of friends with fellow Atenista (or as some say Tomasino) Basilio.
I got to know who Isagani was when Ate Ash told me the story of El Filibusterismo when i was in Grade 5. After hearing that Isagani messed Simoun's whole grand masterly plan up, i was so pissed up with him. It's also likely from Isagani where i first heard of Ateneo de Manila- the school im probably going to next school year. It's also worth noting that one point when i was in grade 6, my English teacher, Teacher Hailey Ferrer, told my class that her hubby(and my first physics teacher in Cahbriba), T.Jeric E. Ferrer, was descended from someone surnamed Egasani- Jose Rizal's old playmate whom Rizal probably named Isagani after.
For years, i looked at Isagani with contempt. I always thought of him as someone who's as crazy as Sisa( no wonder Isagani and Basilio are best of friends), especially when i was in fourth year highschool, when we were already discussing the chapter where Isagani was so emo about Paulita marrying off Juanito Pelaez. I felt so bad that i wished i was Isagani, so things would be much different from what happened in the story. According to my answer on my (last) final exam in Filipino, if i were Isagani, i took Basilio's advice, go far away with him and let Paulita die a terrible death with Juanito. The reason why i answered that, because Paulita broke Isagani's heart and she deserved to be blown up. I strongly believe in karma and in Justin Timberlake's song "What goes around, comes around."
I remember clearly as well that i asked T.Anna(my Filipino teacher) why Isagani can't let go of Paulita even if she dumped him. She looked at me with a smile and said, "Kasi Irish, may mga tao rin na di kayang maka let-go ng minamahal nila kahit sinaktan na nila sila. Ganun talaga pag love."("Because Irish, there are also people who can't let go of whom they love even if they're rejected. That's love anyway." in Filipino)
I never knew back then that i too, will end up slightly like Isagani- someone who was believed to be crazy, while in fact, just misunderstood because of a broken heart.
As my Montessori days drew to a close, i thought of packing up all my things from my besmirched locker and taking them home. As i ransacked all of my books, piles of quizzes, scitechs, blunt pencils and oil pastels, i came across my copy of El Filibusterismo, a book which gave me lots of laugh from the past and a sense of relation later on. I flipped across the pages- and singing "Insomia" whenever Macaraig is mentioned along the way-, until i landed on "Chapter 24- Mga Pangarap"(or "the aspirations of Isagani")
In this chapter, Isagani went to Malecon to meet up with his gf Paulita Gomez. Last night, he saw Paulita sweetly with his friend, Juanito Pelaez, in a French play, Les Cloches de Corneville. Out of shock, Isagani was petrified for the whole night.
That certain thursday was a cold, dark one for Isagani. Everything around him seemed depressing, all the people walking around seemed to be full of themselves and the children playing on the streets annoyed him. He recalls all the good times he had with Paulita and remembering them hurts him so. His pain was so severe that he wished that he would rather be killed by Germans than experience the heart ache he is having now.
Then, he met Paulita with Juanito and Donya Victorina. He told Paulita that he was upset upon seeing her with Juanito in the French play last night but Paulita told Isagani that she was upset too upon seeing him staring keenly at the French actresses(in fact, Isagani went blank because of her). Then Donya Victorina butts in and asks Isagani about Juanito.
Isagani was confused why Donya Victorina would ask about Juanito. He really want to tell Paulita and Donya Victorina all the evilness of Juanito, but out of courtesy, he just praised Juanito and told them that he's a good guy.
Then Isagani asked Paulita why her "ali" is asking him about Juanito. Paulita told him because she wanted to divorce Don Tiburcio de Espadana and marry Juanito. Tiburcio was hiding in Isagani's uncle's home somewhere very far from Manila. The two had a laugh about it.
Then Isagani told Paulita about his dreams and aspirations. He dreamt of marrying her and the two living together in his serene, peaceful province(aka where Isagani's uncle and Tiburcio Magnantuta lives) but for the super-pampered and spoiled Paulita, Isagani's idyllic paradise is a horrible hell full of creepy leeches.
Then after that, Dona Victorina called Paulita to go home. Surprisingly, she also invited Isagani for a ride with them, a ride that Isagani will surely remember. Beside Paulita, Isagani could feel the tingeling sensation of her soft, sweet smelling skin. Riding along the streets of Manila beside his lady fair made him think he was in heaven.
Some chapters later, Isagani was rejected by Paulita because of his liberal ideas(and his Amish paradise) and she married Juanito Pelaez instead. From then on, Isagani was hearbroken and dejected.
The reason why Chapter 24 had a huge impact in me is that because all of what Isagani felt in that chapter i felt as well, and something like this happened to me.
Chapter 24 sort of mirrors one texting galore of me and Xurt. The day before my camping, Xurt told me things about Wendy- which made me curious and a bit jealous. Then he confided in me that he has a huge crush on Wendy(much to my dismay since im developing some feelings for him) but CJ Recto also had a huge crush on Wendy as well. See? It's like an Isagani(me)- Paulita(Xurt)-Juanito(Wendy)- Dona Victorina (CJ) love square- it's not a triangle since there are four sides.
And Isagani's end also happened to me. Some days later, Xurt told me that he is in love with Wendy- a really huge blow in my heart(i thought Bill will be the next to break my heart after Keith). I was rejected the way Paulita rejected Isagani.
My similarities with Isagani are not only our school, kind of best friend, kind of guardian but our own love lives as well.
It's funny to hear that im comparing my love life to scenes from a deep, dark, political novel mainly about Spanish oppression in 19th century Philippines. But all of what i felt right now matches the mood, the disposition and most of all, the feelings of a certain character from the story. As my heart tear into pieces whenever i heard of Xurt and/or Wendy, so does Isagani whenever he saw Paulita being with Juanito. And with El Filibusterismo, i found someone whom i share the same situation and found a sense of relation with him.
Although i can strongly stress out that i don't feel true love in Xurt, my (puppy) love for him hurts me so. I wish when i hit my college days, i will no longer be hurt about him and move on with life. I hope i will never stare for endless hours on Xurt's text messages when i should be staring at the pages of my books, business plans, poems or essays. Isagani's case is more or less worse because his love for Paulita is true but he was lucky because text messaging aren't the in-thing back then-lol. After Paulita's wedding, Isagani went back to his uncle, uncle Fr. Florentino, in the somewhere-near-the-sea place, where he will never get to talk to or see Paulita again. Now that he's away from Paulita, it may be easier for him to forget about her.
Unlucky that i am still bound to reply if Xurt still texts me in Ateneo, there's still a good ray of luck in me. If i still get to hear from Xurt by that time, one day i'll hear him happily tell me that he's with Wendy. If that slightly inevitable day will come, i will invite my Chinese friends over to Crisostomo's resto in Eastwood to celebrate the "in-a-relationship status" of a hua-na(or whatever it is that us Fujianese-Filipinos call a Filipino) who once had a crush on me and i got a crush on once as well. In Crisostomo's, i will order Sisig Isagani, Bistek ni Pelaez and something concerning Paulita Gomez. Like in the Chapter "Tawanan at iyakan" where Isagani and his peeps jokingly dedicated some food to don Custodio and the friars, i will dedicate the Bistek ni Pelaez to Wendy, the something about Paulita to Xurt and Sisig ni Isagani to my besmirched lovelife and my freedom from Xurt. If im still heartbroken about Xurt by that time, then i should seriously take my best friend Jonathan's advice, "If you wanted to get away from Xurt, join Tokio Hotel".
I got to know who Isagani was when Ate Ash told me the story of El Filibusterismo when i was in Grade 5. After hearing that Isagani messed Simoun's whole grand masterly plan up, i was so pissed up with him. It's also likely from Isagani where i first heard of Ateneo de Manila- the school im probably going to next school year. It's also worth noting that one point when i was in grade 6, my English teacher, Teacher Hailey Ferrer, told my class that her hubby(and my first physics teacher in Cahbriba), T.Jeric E. Ferrer, was descended from someone surnamed Egasani- Jose Rizal's old playmate whom Rizal probably named Isagani after.
For years, i looked at Isagani with contempt. I always thought of him as someone who's as crazy as Sisa( no wonder Isagani and Basilio are best of friends), especially when i was in fourth year highschool, when we were already discussing the chapter where Isagani was so emo about Paulita marrying off Juanito Pelaez. I felt so bad that i wished i was Isagani, so things would be much different from what happened in the story. According to my answer on my (last) final exam in Filipino, if i were Isagani, i took Basilio's advice, go far away with him and let Paulita die a terrible death with Juanito. The reason why i answered that, because Paulita broke Isagani's heart and she deserved to be blown up. I strongly believe in karma and in Justin Timberlake's song "What goes around, comes around."
I remember clearly as well that i asked T.Anna(my Filipino teacher) why Isagani can't let go of Paulita even if she dumped him. She looked at me with a smile and said, "Kasi Irish, may mga tao rin na di kayang maka let-go ng minamahal nila kahit sinaktan na nila sila. Ganun talaga pag love."("Because Irish, there are also people who can't let go of whom they love even if they're rejected. That's love anyway." in Filipino)
I never knew back then that i too, will end up slightly like Isagani- someone who was believed to be crazy, while in fact, just misunderstood because of a broken heart.
As my Montessori days drew to a close, i thought of packing up all my things from my besmirched locker and taking them home. As i ransacked all of my books, piles of quizzes, scitechs, blunt pencils and oil pastels, i came across my copy of El Filibusterismo, a book which gave me lots of laugh from the past and a sense of relation later on. I flipped across the pages- and singing "Insomia" whenever Macaraig is mentioned along the way-, until i landed on "Chapter 24- Mga Pangarap"(or "the aspirations of Isagani")
In this chapter, Isagani went to Malecon to meet up with his gf Paulita Gomez. Last night, he saw Paulita sweetly with his friend, Juanito Pelaez, in a French play, Les Cloches de Corneville. Out of shock, Isagani was petrified for the whole night.
That certain thursday was a cold, dark one for Isagani. Everything around him seemed depressing, all the people walking around seemed to be full of themselves and the children playing on the streets annoyed him. He recalls all the good times he had with Paulita and remembering them hurts him so. His pain was so severe that he wished that he would rather be killed by Germans than experience the heart ache he is having now.
Then, he met Paulita with Juanito and Donya Victorina. He told Paulita that he was upset upon seeing her with Juanito in the French play last night but Paulita told Isagani that she was upset too upon seeing him staring keenly at the French actresses(in fact, Isagani went blank because of her). Then Donya Victorina butts in and asks Isagani about Juanito.
Isagani was confused why Donya Victorina would ask about Juanito. He really want to tell Paulita and Donya Victorina all the evilness of Juanito, but out of courtesy, he just praised Juanito and told them that he's a good guy.
Then Isagani asked Paulita why her "ali" is asking him about Juanito. Paulita told him because she wanted to divorce Don Tiburcio de Espadana and marry Juanito. Tiburcio was hiding in Isagani's uncle's home somewhere very far from Manila. The two had a laugh about it.
Then Isagani told Paulita about his dreams and aspirations. He dreamt of marrying her and the two living together in his serene, peaceful province(aka where Isagani's uncle and Tiburcio Magnantuta lives) but for the super-pampered and spoiled Paulita, Isagani's idyllic paradise is a horrible hell full of creepy leeches.
Then after that, Dona Victorina called Paulita to go home. Surprisingly, she also invited Isagani for a ride with them, a ride that Isagani will surely remember. Beside Paulita, Isagani could feel the tingeling sensation of her soft, sweet smelling skin. Riding along the streets of Manila beside his lady fair made him think he was in heaven.
Some chapters later, Isagani was rejected by Paulita because of his liberal ideas(and his Amish paradise) and she married Juanito Pelaez instead. From then on, Isagani was hearbroken and dejected.
The reason why Chapter 24 had a huge impact in me is that because all of what Isagani felt in that chapter i felt as well, and something like this happened to me.
Chapter 24 sort of mirrors one texting galore of me and Xurt. The day before my camping, Xurt told me things about Wendy- which made me curious and a bit jealous. Then he confided in me that he has a huge crush on Wendy(much to my dismay since im developing some feelings for him) but CJ Recto also had a huge crush on Wendy as well. See? It's like an Isagani(me)- Paulita(Xurt)-Juanito(Wendy)- Dona Victorina (CJ) love square- it's not a triangle since there are four sides.
And Isagani's end also happened to me. Some days later, Xurt told me that he is in love with Wendy- a really huge blow in my heart(i thought Bill will be the next to break my heart after Keith). I was rejected the way Paulita rejected Isagani.
My similarities with Isagani are not only our school, kind of best friend, kind of guardian but our own love lives as well.
It's funny to hear that im comparing my love life to scenes from a deep, dark, political novel mainly about Spanish oppression in 19th century Philippines. But all of what i felt right now matches the mood, the disposition and most of all, the feelings of a certain character from the story. As my heart tear into pieces whenever i heard of Xurt and/or Wendy, so does Isagani whenever he saw Paulita being with Juanito. And with El Filibusterismo, i found someone whom i share the same situation and found a sense of relation with him.
Although i can strongly stress out that i don't feel true love in Xurt, my (puppy) love for him hurts me so. I wish when i hit my college days, i will no longer be hurt about him and move on with life. I hope i will never stare for endless hours on Xurt's text messages when i should be staring at the pages of my books, business plans, poems or essays. Isagani's case is more or less worse because his love for Paulita is true but he was lucky because text messaging aren't the in-thing back then-lol. After Paulita's wedding, Isagani went back to his uncle, uncle Fr. Florentino, in the somewhere-near-the-sea place, where he will never get to talk to or see Paulita again. Now that he's away from Paulita, it may be easier for him to forget about her.
Unlucky that i am still bound to reply if Xurt still texts me in Ateneo, there's still a good ray of luck in me. If i still get to hear from Xurt by that time, one day i'll hear him happily tell me that he's with Wendy. If that slightly inevitable day will come, i will invite my Chinese friends over to Crisostomo's resto in Eastwood to celebrate the "in-a-relationship status" of a hua-na(or whatever it is that us Fujianese-Filipinos call a Filipino) who once had a crush on me and i got a crush on once as well. In Crisostomo's, i will order Sisig Isagani, Bistek ni Pelaez and something concerning Paulita Gomez. Like in the Chapter "Tawanan at iyakan" where Isagani and his peeps jokingly dedicated some food to don Custodio and the friars, i will dedicate the Bistek ni Pelaez to Wendy, the something about Paulita to Xurt and Sisig ni Isagani to my besmirched lovelife and my freedom from Xurt. If im still heartbroken about Xurt by that time, then i should seriously take my best friend Jonathan's advice, "If you wanted to get away from Xurt, join Tokio Hotel".
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
The long, lost friend... and lover. (Part 1)
"I find it hard to believe that someone up there is waiting with arms open wide and smiling..."
- Eraserheads
Xurt Diaz. My crush who is the total opposite of Bill Kaulitz- di mukhang bakla, younger than i, doesn't have an awesome wardrobe, lanky but at least he got a crush on me as well, if he isn't really courting me(but he looks like he's courting me). He is some third year guy whom i just met again recently on our JS Prom. Tall, attractive but shy, that's what he is when i saw him on the JS while most of his classmates were mingling around the super Sulyap.
Actually, i first met him two years ago in the sports fest in Lipa. While i was frolicking around the Granja of Lipa, i came across GT hanging around with some guys(i thought they were his boyfriends). GT smiled at me and introduced to me the two guys he was with. From the names of the two guys- Tail(or Dale) and Exert(or Xurt)- they seemed to be two rather innocent first year boys whom i find really interesting to hang out with. I hanged out a bit with them and i never saw them again after that.
I remember clearly i begged Gt for Dale and Xurt's cellphone numbers.
...Ironic, isn't it?
Gt told me that he'll give me their numbers, but he never did. I don't know if that was a good thing to happen or not. It might be a good thing if Xurt was as mad about love as he is back then. It might be a bad thing because if Xurt and i were friends two years ago, he would have treated me differently right now.
A year later, i went off in Talisay and looked for my two guy pals from Lipa. Unfortunately, dad was mad at me for some weird reason so that's why i've been in Talisay for a few hours only(and saying in my mind "I will make up for this next year in Lucena") .
Then, in Lucena, i went off to find my two Lipa friends, but when i came to see the Lipa crew there, i lost hope and thought they probably forgot about me and i don't remember what they look like anymore. So instead of finding my two Lipa friends, i found no one but my "Kambal sa uma"(aka the Lucena alumna girl who looked a lot like me). I decided to forget about them and move on.
The months passed by and it was February. Back then, i was having the time of my life, being surrounded by my best buds, having the best classmates and teachers to goof out and during that time i feel like im contented with what i have in life. Like Tintin, i have no official lovelife whatsoever. If i have a lovelife to speak of during that time, then it would be Bill Kaulitz. Sadly, during that time, i was so pissed off with Bill coz his new style is so different and bad. I noticed him ditch his Christian Audigier tshirts and Adidas sneaks for (girly when he wears it)Dsquared shirts and high heeled Rick Owens boots. I felt lonely because i lost a style icon and worse of all, after two years of fawning after Bill, he became a vegetarian and a Twilight fan.
So there i was, on the last week of february, trying to accept the fact that Bill is no longer the person i really loved and looked up to for inspiration. Bill is constantly bugging my mind that i wanted to get rid of him, even just one moment. Then, that one moment i was wishing suddenly came.
My second(and probably last) JS prom is fast approaching, but i was much more excited about the upcoming JGSOM open house in Ateneo, which is the morning after the JS. My JS last year was really fun because i danced a lot(i mean a HELL LOT) and i was like partying like in 1699, so it doesn't matter to me whether my last JS will turn up good or bad. It doesn't matter to me also if i take all the dance practices, picking the dance partner and such all seriously(except for looking for a dress to wear since i never wore my dream JS gown-a black dress- last JS). I remember that i was reluctant at first to attend the general rehearsal with the Lipaers the morning of JS day, but then i attended(to avoid sir Cris' wrath) and that was the first time i saw my long lost friend again...
Ah, eto pala si Xurt... I thought as my eyes fell on Elyzza's extra partner wearing green(in case Kevin will not make it coz Kevin's pretty unpredictable) from Lipa. During the practice, nothing unusual happened, although when i got on the jeep with Gt and smiled at Angelou as we departed, Xurt smiled back at me-thinking that i smiled at him(feeling nya sya-or kasing ganda nya- si Angelulu).
Then the big night came, i arrived just in time for the JS to start. My JS was going a bit well, the food was great, admiring each others' dresses and all those things. After dancing with Asriel, i went on to my partner Paolo Alcance to dance with me, but Paolo was too occupied with his itouch, so i just thought of asking out some guy from Lipa, then i recalled Xurt...
He was sitting somewhere with his friends Karlo and CJ when i asked him out. He was surprised and he got up. For me, dancing with guys is nothing special. But for Xurt, it's the opposite. As we danced to a slow song, we talked about ourselves- age, being a fourth year and such. At first, i haven't noticed him falling for me, parang wala lang. I just noticed when i often catch him looking at me, grinning at me, following me around(except in the bathroom), talking in a hushed tone and glancing at me with either Karlo or Cj and when i won "Most elegant lady" (i heard Cj whisper at Xurt, "Oh, pareho na din kayo...")
After the JS ended, he asked for a picture with me and my number- which i both gave. I shook his hand and bid farewell. As i got into bed that night, i just thought that it's better to forget Xurt because i'll be leaving Montessori in a month, at least i met the friend i was looking for a long time.
The next day, before the simulated IT class of Prof Alyson Yap started, i received a mysterious text message from an unknown number. I was horrified when i read the message because the messenger called me "his darling". I figured out it was from Xurt because the guy who sent the message was babbling about last night's dance and before i left the JSlast night, Xurt promised me that he'll text me in the morning. So i went pale and everyone around me seemed to have frozen as if a giant ice-shroom was planted on the courtyard of the JGSOM or Hermione Granger conjured an "Immobilus" spell and froze everything drastically, especially my brains. I found it hard to concentrate in sir Alyson's rather interesting class(he was talking about Microsoft Excel and he said that you can make games like Hangman or Battleships-the one Lazlo Carreidas and Captain Haddock played in Flight 714- using that boring Microsoft office application). Then he texted me again after the JGSOM open house, he told me sorry for the late reply(since i texted him after Alyson Yap's class) and he should have danced with me. He kept on blaming himself for that mistake. he told me that he hoped that we can dance again. I never got to reply back to him until about 3 PM, since i was too petrified with him calling me darling. It was the first time i was considered"Darling" by a guy(coz it's usually my mom or some gay people who call me that). I told him that i can be his partner again next year if he wants. He told me that i was the kindest and the most confident of all the peeps in the main branch. My confidence level was the opposite of his. He wished that he danced with me more. And here's a more shocking thing he told me, he caught the weakness of his heart... Okay, so it's also the first time i caught the weakness of someone's heart. o.0
Then his texts went from shocking to nagging. He asked me if i got a boyfriend already(he said that him asking that proves that he likes me). He then told me that he never been in a relationship and nakakatuwa daw ako talaga. I remember i was really annoyed and rather shocked because no one ever spoke to me like that before. He was like a Bianca Castafiore showering annoying sweet affection to Captain Haddock.
But he does not intend to start a relationship with me(much to my relief),He just don't feel he is responsible enough. Then he told me that he likes me, he likes my first impression, but at that time he's not yet sure of my personality. I was really nice, he said. He even noted that the wallpaper of his cellphone is our picture. Basta, he likes me, hangang dun na lang daw.He warned me that he's not a biting some sort of burden. Then i told him that i was shocked, so he said he was sorry for being too fast. I told him i wasn't surprised at all that he likes me coz there's a lot of evidence that he likes me. He told me that i was his type(because of my attitude), nakakatuwa raw ako, i was the first one from San Pablo who smiled at him, and he's gonna make our picture his primary photo on facebook. I snapped at him that i don't want a boyfriend because i love the single life i am living in and of course im easily distracted, but i thanked him for liking me because no one ever liked me the way he did. Well, he was so caring and super concerned to me. He likes my attitude, personality, appearance but not me as a whole because he does not completely know me, but he added that i am caring and kind that's why he doesn't want to hurt such a person like me. I asked him why he doesn't want to dance with me when the next song(basta di mellow na kanta yun), he told me he prefers mellow coz it's relaxing. I asked him what if i can't make it to his JS next year. He told me that he'll be sad and ask someone else to dance with him. He'll be sad since there will be no one who will ask him to dance the way i did. I told him that i enjoyed dancing with him and he was flattered. He wished that maulit yun muli pero mas matagal.
The next day, we talked about what kind of best friends and buddies do we have in school. I told him that i have the best set of best friends one can ask for- Jonathan, Mark and Marlon and also Gt. Jonathan, Mark, Marlon and I love to do some mischief, have fun and talk about things like Harry Potter, Tintin, Tokio Hotel, sir Manto and our personal lives. Xurt likes to hang out with those who are flexible(di daw maarte), makulit kausap, mejo mahinhin at magalang(a bit meek and polite) and sweet kausap, like me. Then i told him that he was already my friend, a long lost friend. He was baffled and asked me why he was my long lost friend while in fact he first met me on the JS. I told him that i met him and Dale last 2007 when the school's Sportsfest was held. They were hanging around with Gt when i met them both. As i walked into the Granja, enjoying the fresh air and the constantly cloudy Lipa skies, i stopped when i saw Gt, who was hanging around with two guys(whom i assumed were Gt's new papables because he seemed to get a bit too tired with Julien's company). Then the rest is history. But Xurt sadly told me he never recalled meeting me before. As for Dale, he later told me that he still remember meeting me on the sportsfest with Gt and Xurt- good for him. The only things Xurt remembers from the sportsfest were that they won first place in the cheering, they had a very mean dance instructor called sir Darwin, Gt and Ate Kim and he gave ate Kim a jigglypuff doll(awww... that was sweet). I told him that i went looking for him after meeting him. He asked me why the hell i went looking for him, anong meron daw sa kanya nun? Basta nung JS daway panibagong kaibigan ako para sa kanya. Nabigla talaga sya sa akin kasi first time na may nagtanong sa kanya na girl. He was so glad when we danced because it was his first time and the girl he danced with was very sweet. He couldnt really recall the sportsfest when i first met him. Then he asked me to tell Wendy he's not strict, hehehehehehehehehehe(include the laugh). and that we(him and cj) did not asked her out to dance because maybe she'll ignore them, making them embarrased in front of a lot of people. Little did i know Xurt has some skeletons in his closet, if i figured out what was it at that time, i wouldn't be hurt(and i might be a hell lot happy for myself).
Then the days went on and he constantly greeted me good mornings, some sweet nothings and good nights. I clearly remember when Xurt texted Gt and asked him to say hi to me for him, which made my classmates swoon and jeer at me for having an admirer at last. Phoebe and Rizelle's nagging me to answer Xurt(ano to?? proposal para magpakasal?? o.0), Julien's telling Dean that he got in his cellphone yung sex video daw namin(wtf??), and when i was massaging my pet horse Kevin, Julien told me that Derek will get jealous if he founds out(I was like sino si Derek before Julien realized his mistake and that the guy he was talking about is Xurt- Derek pala ang pangalan ni Xurt sa France). I could also remember one certain lunchtime, i was in the middle of a deep dicussion about Tintin with Jonathan and Mark when suddenly Xurt texted me (Hello po, nakakain na po ba kayo??:) or something like that) . I showed the text message to my homies and Jonathan said "Oh dear..."(while i went on "Oh my..."). Then i sighed and told them that Xurt's a bit like Castafiore if i am Captain Haddock. Then Jonathan asked me what if Xurt became the president of the Philippines and the first thing he did as president is to have Bill Kaulitz killed(patay, wala nang kakanta ng "through the monsoon" or "world behind my wall"), me captured and marry me?? I told them i would escape to China and get Chinese citizenship(good luck sa paghahanap sa akin dun, sige halukayin nyo ang buong Xiamen at wala kayong makikita doon na Irish Domingo. Nandun lang ako as Wong Chuk Chak Cheneses at di nyo yun alam kasi di kayo marunong mag salita ng Cantonese- in your face!!!). Then they told me that what if he had my Chinese citizenship revoked and he had me deported back to the Philippines, i told them i would fly off to Tibet(i was talking about Tintin a while ago) and hang out with the Yeti-a reference to Chang Chong Chen. Then Jonathan asked me what if they found me in Tibet and had the Yeti killed as well? I told them, i'll fly off to Borduria, then what if they found me in Borduria, and so and so forth (i remember i told them i would go to Slydavia, then Belgium, then Sweden, then San Teodoros, then France, then Italy, then Pulau Bompa-Bompa islands, then Iran, then Iraq, then Israel, then Hogwarts, then Leaky Cauldron, then the Tsing Ma bridge, then Munich, then Moscow, then St. Petersburg, then Berlin, then i dunno) until they told me the best way to stay away from Xurt is to join Tokio Hotel. I asked them why and they both said, without batting an eyelash, "basta..."
I guess the reason why is that because Xurt had Bill(or Gustav because he got glasses and Xurt knows i find guys with glasses hot and poor Gusti's assassins might mistook him for Bill) killed in the first place. Of course, as the one who killed the beloved Tokio Hotel member, Tom, Georg and Gustav(or Bill if Gustav was the one who was killed) might want to kill him off in case he gets near them. Then i would replace the dead member. If Bill wasn't the one who was killed, i might be luckier.
There is also one point when Xurt and i talked about IJMCP Lipa not having a lot of female students. Xurt then told me that there are some third year(and a fourth year) girls from IJMCP San Pablo being linked with third year Lipa guys. He advised me that when someone teases me about him, i should reply back with "Ingit ka lang, gumaya ka na lang sa amin"(You're just jealous, why can't you imitate us instead?). Then he asked if it's true that im Chinese(no wonder im so fair-skinned), and i told him yes(Chinese, Filipino and Spanish). I asked him what he is, he told me that i was 3 in one and he was pure pinoy(Hua-na). Then after some kamustas, he told me about Karlo Matira, his best friend. He told me that masarap kasama ang mga best friends nya like Geelo, CJ, Dale and Karlo. They don't have any close gal pals. He wished that im with them. In my thoughts, i wonder what life will be like if i spent my highschool years instead in Montessori Lipa. Most probably, im friends with them or with Angelou. I asked him how did he know the fact i was Chinese and i looked for him in Talisay and Lucena. He revealed that those information came from Abby Cabrito. She often asks him if he got a crush on me and if he was courting me. He said no. Then he told me that all the third year girls of San Pablo were very crazy and he wished that there are girls like them in Lipa.
Then some days later, we were talking about his preferences in a girl because sir Leinard Lacdao(the fourth year adviser whom im a bit close with last retreat because he's close with Angelou, my roomate-lol) dissed me out in his class. Xurt wants a girl who is medyo makulit, hindi yung maarte. He furiously said that that gay(sir Leinard) is just jealous because he spoke so frankly in class that i am so boyish. I was a bit shocked because sir Leinard was so kind with me last retreat and he would talk like that about me behind my back(in my mind, the word "Turncoat" frustratingly echoed). For him, ok na ok ako, bongang bonga. Then after talking about my best friends Jonathan, Mark and Malon, Xurt warned me to steer clear from them because they might do or think something bad to me as if he knew my three best friends so well. If he was pertaining to NR that is okay, but stay away from Jonathan, Mark and Marlon- my three prudish best buds who deliberately refuse to talk about anything malicious or sexual- is something out of the question. And he also said that if he was one of them, magpapaporma sya sa akin...
I was like "...WTF?? Grabe, gago yata 'tong Xurt na to." He had simply gone too far that he offended, shocked and hurt me a lot. So out of shock and annoyance, i stopped texting him.
It went on for days without texting him, but all of a sudden, i felt so strange. There isn't anyone who greet me sweetly with good mornings, good nights, who asks me if i've eaten already, in short someone who cared a lot for me. During that point, dad begins to go out of the house at night and go home really, really late and he begins to be more irritable. I felt a kind of terrible guilt because i just stopped texting him without him knowing the reason why, especially after i dissed him out and told what he told me to Jonathan, Mark and Marlon. Of course, they were all pissed off with him and they told me not to talk that much with him anymore. To them, Xurt sounded so mayabang and prolly maangas(which i don't like). Then out of the blue, i texted him after the exams ended. I told him why i never texted him for a long time and we were pissed off with what he told me about my best friends. Then he replied back so quick to me, he said sorry about giving that kind of advice to me, he didn't mean to hurt me or my friends. He has been a victim of a case and he doesn't want me to be a victim too. He always tend to give tips to his friends. Then i told him that i understood and i also told him about his infamous line "magpapaporma sya sa akin...", he explained that he wants to show me that he's a decent person so that i'll come to think of him as a kind person and be friends with him for a long time. Not like the others who are like adiks.
Then out of a sudden, he went on ranting about himself, his family and how stupid his life is. He's so angry at himself for being nagmamagaling sa mga kakilala nya, maigi nalang daw na manahimik nalang daw sya, or maybe because San Pablo people's way of thinking is different from Lipa-ers. He shouldn't have talked sarcastically to us. And from there, i felt so sorry that i told him that i forgiven him already. Then he went on saying that he doesn't deserve to be forgiven, his mistake is that he always talk to people and act as a good help in giving tips. He guess he must stop it, he didn't mean to make me think something that i didn't want him to. To be honest, life's unfair to him. He then told me that i got a nice dad(...nice?? o.0) who i could hang out with, and i got a very nice set of loving friends. He has a dad, too (of course, everyone got a dad). But he's the opposite of the usual dads, he treats him cruelly as if he was a maid. His mom always hangs out with her old friends so he couldn't speak to her that much. His only shoulder to lean are his friends, he gives them what he cannot give to his parents. He said that "...if you were in my situation, maybe you can't take it anymore and just run away from home. That's a part of my stupid life..."
For the first time ever, i felt so terribly sorry and ashamed at myself for misunderstanding someone who look up to me as if i was as awesome and desirable as Bill Kaulitz. I heard from kuya Al(the guy who "cleans" Montessori) that Xurt came from a well-to-do family. His dad was a professor/school director in AMA Lipa and his mum is a businesswoman who knows how to speak in Japanese. I was a bit impressed and i thought Xurt lives a happier life than i do but i was wrong. I went to ask for his forgiveness but he said that i shouldn't ask forgiveness, he should be the one(ah okaaay...). Behind his big smiles are lots of tears dripping from his eyes. Many people might think of him as a happy person, but actually he only smile to release the pain inside him, iba talaga kapag hindi pa natin kilala ang isang tao...
So, i explained to him that i accept him because of what he is right now, not from his background. He admits that im right and he really does felt neglected by his family. Sometimes he wonders what would his family live and do without him, leading him to think of running away-which he wouldn't do. Then i told him that everything's gonna be okay since he got friends like me by his side.
- Eraserheads
Xurt Diaz. My crush who is the total opposite of Bill Kaulitz- di mukhang bakla, younger than i, doesn't have an awesome wardrobe, lanky but at least he got a crush on me as well, if he isn't really courting me(but he looks like he's courting me). He is some third year guy whom i just met again recently on our JS Prom. Tall, attractive but shy, that's what he is when i saw him on the JS while most of his classmates were mingling around the super Sulyap.
Actually, i first met him two years ago in the sports fest in Lipa. While i was frolicking around the Granja of Lipa, i came across GT hanging around with some guys(i thought they were his boyfriends). GT smiled at me and introduced to me the two guys he was with. From the names of the two guys- Tail(or Dale) and Exert(or Xurt)- they seemed to be two rather innocent first year boys whom i find really interesting to hang out with. I hanged out a bit with them and i never saw them again after that.
I remember clearly i begged Gt for Dale and Xurt's cellphone numbers.
...Ironic, isn't it?
Gt told me that he'll give me their numbers, but he never did. I don't know if that was a good thing to happen or not. It might be a good thing if Xurt was as mad about love as he is back then. It might be a bad thing because if Xurt and i were friends two years ago, he would have treated me differently right now.
A year later, i went off in Talisay and looked for my two guy pals from Lipa. Unfortunately, dad was mad at me for some weird reason so that's why i've been in Talisay for a few hours only(and saying in my mind "I will make up for this next year in Lucena") .
Then, in Lucena, i went off to find my two Lipa friends, but when i came to see the Lipa crew there, i lost hope and thought they probably forgot about me and i don't remember what they look like anymore. So instead of finding my two Lipa friends, i found no one but my "Kambal sa uma"(aka the Lucena alumna girl who looked a lot like me). I decided to forget about them and move on.
The months passed by and it was February. Back then, i was having the time of my life, being surrounded by my best buds, having the best classmates and teachers to goof out and during that time i feel like im contented with what i have in life. Like Tintin, i have no official lovelife whatsoever. If i have a lovelife to speak of during that time, then it would be Bill Kaulitz. Sadly, during that time, i was so pissed off with Bill coz his new style is so different and bad. I noticed him ditch his Christian Audigier tshirts and Adidas sneaks for (girly when he wears it)Dsquared shirts and high heeled Rick Owens boots. I felt lonely because i lost a style icon and worse of all, after two years of fawning after Bill, he became a vegetarian and a Twilight fan.
So there i was, on the last week of february, trying to accept the fact that Bill is no longer the person i really loved and looked up to for inspiration. Bill is constantly bugging my mind that i wanted to get rid of him, even just one moment. Then, that one moment i was wishing suddenly came.
My second(and probably last) JS prom is fast approaching, but i was much more excited about the upcoming JGSOM open house in Ateneo, which is the morning after the JS. My JS last year was really fun because i danced a lot(i mean a HELL LOT) and i was like partying like in 1699, so it doesn't matter to me whether my last JS will turn up good or bad. It doesn't matter to me also if i take all the dance practices, picking the dance partner and such all seriously(except for looking for a dress to wear since i never wore my dream JS gown-a black dress- last JS). I remember that i was reluctant at first to attend the general rehearsal with the Lipaers the morning of JS day, but then i attended(to avoid sir Cris' wrath) and that was the first time i saw my long lost friend again...
Ah, eto pala si Xurt... I thought as my eyes fell on Elyzza's extra partner wearing green(in case Kevin will not make it coz Kevin's pretty unpredictable) from Lipa. During the practice, nothing unusual happened, although when i got on the jeep with Gt and smiled at Angelou as we departed, Xurt smiled back at me-thinking that i smiled at him(feeling nya sya-or kasing ganda nya- si Angelulu).
Then the big night came, i arrived just in time for the JS to start. My JS was going a bit well, the food was great, admiring each others' dresses and all those things. After dancing with Asriel, i went on to my partner Paolo Alcance to dance with me, but Paolo was too occupied with his itouch, so i just thought of asking out some guy from Lipa, then i recalled Xurt...
He was sitting somewhere with his friends Karlo and CJ when i asked him out. He was surprised and he got up. For me, dancing with guys is nothing special. But for Xurt, it's the opposite. As we danced to a slow song, we talked about ourselves- age, being a fourth year and such. At first, i haven't noticed him falling for me, parang wala lang. I just noticed when i often catch him looking at me, grinning at me, following me around(except in the bathroom), talking in a hushed tone and glancing at me with either Karlo or Cj and when i won "Most elegant lady" (i heard Cj whisper at Xurt, "Oh, pareho na din kayo...")
After the JS ended, he asked for a picture with me and my number- which i both gave. I shook his hand and bid farewell. As i got into bed that night, i just thought that it's better to forget Xurt because i'll be leaving Montessori in a month, at least i met the friend i was looking for a long time.
The next day, before the simulated IT class of Prof Alyson Yap started, i received a mysterious text message from an unknown number. I was horrified when i read the message because the messenger called me "his darling". I figured out it was from Xurt because the guy who sent the message was babbling about last night's dance and before i left the JSlast night, Xurt promised me that he'll text me in the morning. So i went pale and everyone around me seemed to have frozen as if a giant ice-shroom was planted on the courtyard of the JGSOM or Hermione Granger conjured an "Immobilus" spell and froze everything drastically, especially my brains. I found it hard to concentrate in sir Alyson's rather interesting class(he was talking about Microsoft Excel and he said that you can make games like Hangman or Battleships-the one Lazlo Carreidas and Captain Haddock played in Flight 714- using that boring Microsoft office application). Then he texted me again after the JGSOM open house, he told me sorry for the late reply(since i texted him after Alyson Yap's class) and he should have danced with me. He kept on blaming himself for that mistake. he told me that he hoped that we can dance again. I never got to reply back to him until about 3 PM, since i was too petrified with him calling me darling. It was the first time i was considered"Darling" by a guy(coz it's usually my mom or some gay people who call me that). I told him that i can be his partner again next year if he wants. He told me that i was the kindest and the most confident of all the peeps in the main branch. My confidence level was the opposite of his. He wished that he danced with me more. And here's a more shocking thing he told me, he caught the weakness of his heart... Okay, so it's also the first time i caught the weakness of someone's heart. o.0
Then his texts went from shocking to nagging. He asked me if i got a boyfriend already(he said that him asking that proves that he likes me). He then told me that he never been in a relationship and nakakatuwa daw ako talaga. I remember i was really annoyed and rather shocked because no one ever spoke to me like that before. He was like a Bianca Castafiore showering annoying sweet affection to Captain Haddock.
But he does not intend to start a relationship with me(much to my relief),He just don't feel he is responsible enough. Then he told me that he likes me, he likes my first impression, but at that time he's not yet sure of my personality. I was really nice, he said. He even noted that the wallpaper of his cellphone is our picture. Basta, he likes me, hangang dun na lang daw.He warned me that he's not a biting some sort of burden. Then i told him that i was shocked, so he said he was sorry for being too fast. I told him i wasn't surprised at all that he likes me coz there's a lot of evidence that he likes me. He told me that i was his type(because of my attitude), nakakatuwa raw ako, i was the first one from San Pablo who smiled at him, and he's gonna make our picture his primary photo on facebook. I snapped at him that i don't want a boyfriend because i love the single life i am living in and of course im easily distracted, but i thanked him for liking me because no one ever liked me the way he did. Well, he was so caring and super concerned to me. He likes my attitude, personality, appearance but not me as a whole because he does not completely know me, but he added that i am caring and kind that's why he doesn't want to hurt such a person like me. I asked him why he doesn't want to dance with me when the next song(basta di mellow na kanta yun), he told me he prefers mellow coz it's relaxing. I asked him what if i can't make it to his JS next year. He told me that he'll be sad and ask someone else to dance with him. He'll be sad since there will be no one who will ask him to dance the way i did. I told him that i enjoyed dancing with him and he was flattered. He wished that maulit yun muli pero mas matagal.
The next day, we talked about what kind of best friends and buddies do we have in school. I told him that i have the best set of best friends one can ask for- Jonathan, Mark and Marlon and also Gt. Jonathan, Mark, Marlon and I love to do some mischief, have fun and talk about things like Harry Potter, Tintin, Tokio Hotel, sir Manto and our personal lives. Xurt likes to hang out with those who are flexible(di daw maarte), makulit kausap, mejo mahinhin at magalang(a bit meek and polite) and sweet kausap, like me. Then i told him that he was already my friend, a long lost friend. He was baffled and asked me why he was my long lost friend while in fact he first met me on the JS. I told him that i met him and Dale last 2007 when the school's Sportsfest was held. They were hanging around with Gt when i met them both. As i walked into the Granja, enjoying the fresh air and the constantly cloudy Lipa skies, i stopped when i saw Gt, who was hanging around with two guys(whom i assumed were Gt's new papables because he seemed to get a bit too tired with Julien's company). Then the rest is history. But Xurt sadly told me he never recalled meeting me before. As for Dale, he later told me that he still remember meeting me on the sportsfest with Gt and Xurt- good for him. The only things Xurt remembers from the sportsfest were that they won first place in the cheering, they had a very mean dance instructor called sir Darwin, Gt and Ate Kim and he gave ate Kim a jigglypuff doll(awww... that was sweet). I told him that i went looking for him after meeting him. He asked me why the hell i went looking for him, anong meron daw sa kanya nun? Basta nung JS daway panibagong kaibigan ako para sa kanya. Nabigla talaga sya sa akin kasi first time na may nagtanong sa kanya na girl. He was so glad when we danced because it was his first time and the girl he danced with was very sweet. He couldnt really recall the sportsfest when i first met him. Then he asked me to tell Wendy he's not strict, hehehehehehehehehehe(include the laugh). and that we(him and cj) did not asked her out to dance because maybe she'll ignore them, making them embarrased in front of a lot of people. Little did i know Xurt has some skeletons in his closet, if i figured out what was it at that time, i wouldn't be hurt(and i might be a hell lot happy for myself).
Then the days went on and he constantly greeted me good mornings, some sweet nothings and good nights. I clearly remember when Xurt texted Gt and asked him to say hi to me for him, which made my classmates swoon and jeer at me for having an admirer at last. Phoebe and Rizelle's nagging me to answer Xurt(ano to?? proposal para magpakasal?? o.0), Julien's telling Dean that he got in his cellphone yung sex video daw namin(wtf??), and when i was massaging my pet horse Kevin, Julien told me that Derek will get jealous if he founds out(I was like sino si Derek before Julien realized his mistake and that the guy he was talking about is Xurt- Derek pala ang pangalan ni Xurt sa France). I could also remember one certain lunchtime, i was in the middle of a deep dicussion about Tintin with Jonathan and Mark when suddenly Xurt texted me (Hello po, nakakain na po ba kayo??:) or something like that) . I showed the text message to my homies and Jonathan said "Oh dear..."(while i went on "Oh my..."). Then i sighed and told them that Xurt's a bit like Castafiore if i am Captain Haddock. Then Jonathan asked me what if Xurt became the president of the Philippines and the first thing he did as president is to have Bill Kaulitz killed(patay, wala nang kakanta ng "through the monsoon" or "world behind my wall"), me captured and marry me?? I told them i would escape to China and get Chinese citizenship(good luck sa paghahanap sa akin dun, sige halukayin nyo ang buong Xiamen at wala kayong makikita doon na Irish Domingo. Nandun lang ako as Wong Chuk Chak Cheneses at di nyo yun alam kasi di kayo marunong mag salita ng Cantonese- in your face!!!). Then they told me that what if he had my Chinese citizenship revoked and he had me deported back to the Philippines, i told them i would fly off to Tibet(i was talking about Tintin a while ago) and hang out with the Yeti-a reference to Chang Chong Chen. Then Jonathan asked me what if they found me in Tibet and had the Yeti killed as well? I told them, i'll fly off to Borduria, then what if they found me in Borduria, and so and so forth (i remember i told them i would go to Slydavia, then Belgium, then Sweden, then San Teodoros, then France, then Italy, then Pulau Bompa-Bompa islands, then Iran, then Iraq, then Israel, then Hogwarts, then Leaky Cauldron, then the Tsing Ma bridge, then Munich, then Moscow, then St. Petersburg, then Berlin, then i dunno) until they told me the best way to stay away from Xurt is to join Tokio Hotel. I asked them why and they both said, without batting an eyelash, "basta..."
I guess the reason why is that because Xurt had Bill(or Gustav because he got glasses and Xurt knows i find guys with glasses hot and poor Gusti's assassins might mistook him for Bill) killed in the first place. Of course, as the one who killed the beloved Tokio Hotel member, Tom, Georg and Gustav(or Bill if Gustav was the one who was killed) might want to kill him off in case he gets near them. Then i would replace the dead member. If Bill wasn't the one who was killed, i might be luckier.
There is also one point when Xurt and i talked about IJMCP Lipa not having a lot of female students. Xurt then told me that there are some third year(and a fourth year) girls from IJMCP San Pablo being linked with third year Lipa guys. He advised me that when someone teases me about him, i should reply back with "Ingit ka lang, gumaya ka na lang sa amin"(You're just jealous, why can't you imitate us instead?). Then he asked if it's true that im Chinese(no wonder im so fair-skinned), and i told him yes(Chinese, Filipino and Spanish). I asked him what he is, he told me that i was 3 in one and he was pure pinoy(Hua-na). Then after some kamustas, he told me about Karlo Matira, his best friend. He told me that masarap kasama ang mga best friends nya like Geelo, CJ, Dale and Karlo. They don't have any close gal pals. He wished that im with them. In my thoughts, i wonder what life will be like if i spent my highschool years instead in Montessori Lipa. Most probably, im friends with them or with Angelou. I asked him how did he know the fact i was Chinese and i looked for him in Talisay and Lucena. He revealed that those information came from Abby Cabrito. She often asks him if he got a crush on me and if he was courting me. He said no. Then he told me that all the third year girls of San Pablo were very crazy and he wished that there are girls like them in Lipa.
Then some days later, we were talking about his preferences in a girl because sir Leinard Lacdao(the fourth year adviser whom im a bit close with last retreat because he's close with Angelou, my roomate-lol) dissed me out in his class. Xurt wants a girl who is medyo makulit, hindi yung maarte. He furiously said that that gay(sir Leinard) is just jealous because he spoke so frankly in class that i am so boyish. I was a bit shocked because sir Leinard was so kind with me last retreat and he would talk like that about me behind my back(in my mind, the word "Turncoat" frustratingly echoed). For him, ok na ok ako, bongang bonga. Then after talking about my best friends Jonathan, Mark and Malon, Xurt warned me to steer clear from them because they might do or think something bad to me as if he knew my three best friends so well. If he was pertaining to NR that is okay, but stay away from Jonathan, Mark and Marlon- my three prudish best buds who deliberately refuse to talk about anything malicious or sexual- is something out of the question. And he also said that if he was one of them, magpapaporma sya sa akin...
I was like "...WTF?? Grabe, gago yata 'tong Xurt na to." He had simply gone too far that he offended, shocked and hurt me a lot. So out of shock and annoyance, i stopped texting him.
It went on for days without texting him, but all of a sudden, i felt so strange. There isn't anyone who greet me sweetly with good mornings, good nights, who asks me if i've eaten already, in short someone who cared a lot for me. During that point, dad begins to go out of the house at night and go home really, really late and he begins to be more irritable. I felt a kind of terrible guilt because i just stopped texting him without him knowing the reason why, especially after i dissed him out and told what he told me to Jonathan, Mark and Marlon. Of course, they were all pissed off with him and they told me not to talk that much with him anymore. To them, Xurt sounded so mayabang and prolly maangas(which i don't like). Then out of the blue, i texted him after the exams ended. I told him why i never texted him for a long time and we were pissed off with what he told me about my best friends. Then he replied back so quick to me, he said sorry about giving that kind of advice to me, he didn't mean to hurt me or my friends. He has been a victim of a case and he doesn't want me to be a victim too. He always tend to give tips to his friends. Then i told him that i understood and i also told him about his infamous line "magpapaporma sya sa akin...", he explained that he wants to show me that he's a decent person so that i'll come to think of him as a kind person and be friends with him for a long time. Not like the others who are like adiks.
Then out of a sudden, he went on ranting about himself, his family and how stupid his life is. He's so angry at himself for being nagmamagaling sa mga kakilala nya, maigi nalang daw na manahimik nalang daw sya, or maybe because San Pablo people's way of thinking is different from Lipa-ers. He shouldn't have talked sarcastically to us. And from there, i felt so sorry that i told him that i forgiven him already. Then he went on saying that he doesn't deserve to be forgiven, his mistake is that he always talk to people and act as a good help in giving tips. He guess he must stop it, he didn't mean to make me think something that i didn't want him to. To be honest, life's unfair to him. He then told me that i got a nice dad(...nice?? o.0) who i could hang out with, and i got a very nice set of loving friends. He has a dad, too (of course, everyone got a dad). But he's the opposite of the usual dads, he treats him cruelly as if he was a maid. His mom always hangs out with her old friends so he couldn't speak to her that much. His only shoulder to lean are his friends, he gives them what he cannot give to his parents. He said that "...if you were in my situation, maybe you can't take it anymore and just run away from home. That's a part of my stupid life..."
For the first time ever, i felt so terribly sorry and ashamed at myself for misunderstanding someone who look up to me as if i was as awesome and desirable as Bill Kaulitz. I heard from kuya Al(the guy who "cleans" Montessori) that Xurt came from a well-to-do family. His dad was a professor/school director in AMA Lipa and his mum is a businesswoman who knows how to speak in Japanese. I was a bit impressed and i thought Xurt lives a happier life than i do but i was wrong. I went to ask for his forgiveness but he said that i shouldn't ask forgiveness, he should be the one(ah okaaay...). Behind his big smiles are lots of tears dripping from his eyes. Many people might think of him as a happy person, but actually he only smile to release the pain inside him, iba talaga kapag hindi pa natin kilala ang isang tao...
So, i explained to him that i accept him because of what he is right now, not from his background. He admits that im right and he really does felt neglected by his family. Sometimes he wonders what would his family live and do without him, leading him to think of running away-which he wouldn't do. Then i told him that everything's gonna be okay since he got friends like me by his side.
Friday, March 12, 2010
An afternoon of pure laughter and merriment
If my retreat last december was a total "Ultimate Bonding Experience" with my classmates, March 11, was however, the equivalent for two of my closest friends in school, Jonathan and Mark Malabanan. It was an afternoon of total fun and laughter as we enjoyed delicious food and sang songs for just about anyone we remember.
It was a balmy, January recess time when one of us thought of a rendezvous outside school as a "Lilipat-na-nang-ibang-school" party for me. Since i'll be leaving my poor friends behind next year for college, it would be nice if i leave them some last memorable moments before i go. Since we never hanged around as best friends outside school, we decided to hold this party somewhere else.
Then some time later, we decided that it should be held during march- the last month of the school year. We decided that it would be better if it is on March 11- Marlon's birthday as well as the second day of finals. It is like hitting two birds with one stone if we decided to have the party on that date.
Throughout January and February, we had loads of ideas on where to have fun on March 11. One of my favorite ideas was the lunch at Papum siu mai/Sampaloc lake biking trip. It's been a long time since i wanted to go biking in Sampaloc lake(not on the lake itself, though). But then, a wonderful idea popped in my mind.
One day, i suggested to Jonathan, Mark and Marlon that we should go on a Kareoke party in Santa's Old Town(in which i'll shoulder all the expenses). The Malabanan brothers had no problem with that, but Marlon doesn't like even if we can sing "Monsoon" there.
Then the days become weeks and the weeks eventually turned into a month. Before we knew it, it was march already. We were sad as well as happy about it. Sad because my days in Montessori are numbered, happy because our March 11 outing is drawing near. Suddenly, a day before March 11, Marlon withdrawn from our planned rendezvous, saying that his tita planned to take him, Rizelle, Arthur, Zhae and Ken to Pizza Hut. Of course, we were bummed about it but i just told the two that we'll carry on with our plans no matter what happen.
March 11 came and it was the second day of our finals as well as the Sophomore's NAT(National Achievement Test). Of course, we went through our exams as if there's nothing unusual will happen afterwards. After the second year guys finished their NAT, i happily rushed to the phone and asked dad for permission to go and he said yes. I feel guilty because the excuse i used was Rizelle's birthday party, but i lied so that i can experience this chance that's about to slip from my nose. I admit i never been out with my friends to eat and be merry before this, but i wanted to experience this before my highschoolness disappear. After receiving my dad's blessing, we went past kuya Zaldy Camacho and we were off.
We arrived in Santa's Old Town when (much to my dismay since she might make chika of this to dad the next time we eat there) tita Yolai was there. She was surprised but happy when she saw me brought along some friends to eat in her place. After ordering some food, one of the waitresses whom im familiar with turned the kareoke on and we began to sing. The first song we sang was "Happy birthday"(for Marlon) sung by me. Then i sang again, this time my all-time SOT-fave, "Monsoon" by Tokio Hotel(for the dreaded Keith Coral), much to the delight of my best buds. As we ate our bolognese and sip our raspberry iced tea(but i opted for coke), we sang songs like anak(for Dean Villar), Magdalena( for my classmates), Half crazy(for Bill Kaulitz), Puso(for Ateneo students from the past, present and the future. Whether fictional or non fictional.), jai ho(for Jawo and all the others who tease Jonats as the A.R Rahman aka the guy who sang "jai hoooooooooooooo..."), I hate this part(for Xurt), All about us(for me, Jonathan, Mark and Marlon), Insomia(for sir Ernest and Dean again), Pitong gatang(for sir Manto), Paparazzi(for Xurt again i think or someone else whom i forgot), Pokerface(for NR and his notorious pimples), Dancing Queen(for Nikki Goza who really love this song), Man in the mirror(for Kassel and sir Cris), Breaking free(for everyone sabi ni Mark), Everyday(for Jonathan and Mark's friend from Canossa), Reality(for everyone sabi ko) and some other songs i forgot.
After some time of total merriment, Jonathan told me that it's time for us to go since it's already 2:30 PM. I secretly wanted to extend it but i feel that it's rather embarrassing since im their host so i gave in their request. I bid them goodbye as they left Santa's Old Town and i left on my own way.
So, we all had a really great, memorable bonding moment while singing kareoke in Santa's Old Town. For Jonathan and Mark, they told me that they had the most wonderful time ever the next day. I could see the happiness in them as they tell Marlon and NR about all the fun that we had without them. For me, giving them such joy is my gratitude to them for being the bestest friends i could possibly have. Then, there is also this feeling of satisfaction in me that i finally did what normal highschoolers usually do that i cannot do. Having an overprotective parent as well as a "homegirl" attitude, i never get to eat out with my friends in my first three years of highschool. It was only in my very last part of fourth year when i get to enjoy that perfect moment of bliss with my friends.
So, when i look back at my highschool memories some years from now, this memory will be one of those that will stand among the rest. This moment which is my first and most unforgettable rendezvous with my friends. The rendezvous which i spent time with my two best friends, Jonathan and Mark Malabanan.
It was a balmy, January recess time when one of us thought of a rendezvous outside school as a "Lilipat-na-nang-ibang-school" party for me. Since i'll be leaving my poor friends behind next year for college, it would be nice if i leave them some last memorable moments before i go. Since we never hanged around as best friends outside school, we decided to hold this party somewhere else.
Then some time later, we decided that it should be held during march- the last month of the school year. We decided that it would be better if it is on March 11- Marlon's birthday as well as the second day of finals. It is like hitting two birds with one stone if we decided to have the party on that date.
Throughout January and February, we had loads of ideas on where to have fun on March 11. One of my favorite ideas was the lunch at Papum siu mai/Sampaloc lake biking trip. It's been a long time since i wanted to go biking in Sampaloc lake(not on the lake itself, though). But then, a wonderful idea popped in my mind.
One day, i suggested to Jonathan, Mark and Marlon that we should go on a Kareoke party in Santa's Old Town(in which i'll shoulder all the expenses). The Malabanan brothers had no problem with that, but Marlon doesn't like even if we can sing "Monsoon" there.
Then the days become weeks and the weeks eventually turned into a month. Before we knew it, it was march already. We were sad as well as happy about it. Sad because my days in Montessori are numbered, happy because our March 11 outing is drawing near. Suddenly, a day before March 11, Marlon withdrawn from our planned rendezvous, saying that his tita planned to take him, Rizelle, Arthur, Zhae and Ken to Pizza Hut. Of course, we were bummed about it but i just told the two that we'll carry on with our plans no matter what happen.
March 11 came and it was the second day of our finals as well as the Sophomore's NAT(National Achievement Test). Of course, we went through our exams as if there's nothing unusual will happen afterwards. After the second year guys finished their NAT, i happily rushed to the phone and asked dad for permission to go and he said yes. I feel guilty because the excuse i used was Rizelle's birthday party, but i lied so that i can experience this chance that's about to slip from my nose. I admit i never been out with my friends to eat and be merry before this, but i wanted to experience this before my highschoolness disappear. After receiving my dad's blessing, we went past kuya Zaldy Camacho and we were off.
We arrived in Santa's Old Town when (much to my dismay since she might make chika of this to dad the next time we eat there) tita Yolai was there. She was surprised but happy when she saw me brought along some friends to eat in her place. After ordering some food, one of the waitresses whom im familiar with turned the kareoke on and we began to sing. The first song we sang was "Happy birthday"(for Marlon) sung by me. Then i sang again, this time my all-time SOT-fave, "Monsoon" by Tokio Hotel(for the dreaded Keith Coral), much to the delight of my best buds. As we ate our bolognese and sip our raspberry iced tea(but i opted for coke), we sang songs like anak(for Dean Villar), Magdalena( for my classmates), Half crazy(for Bill Kaulitz), Puso(for Ateneo students from the past, present and the future. Whether fictional or non fictional.), jai ho(for Jawo and all the others who tease Jonats as the A.R Rahman aka the guy who sang "jai hoooooooooooooo..."), I hate this part(for Xurt), All about us(for me, Jonathan, Mark and Marlon), Insomia(for sir Ernest and Dean again), Pitong gatang(for sir Manto), Paparazzi(for Xurt again i think or someone else whom i forgot), Pokerface(for NR and his notorious pimples), Dancing Queen(for Nikki Goza who really love this song), Man in the mirror(for Kassel and sir Cris), Breaking free(for everyone sabi ni Mark), Everyday(for Jonathan and Mark's friend from Canossa), Reality(for everyone sabi ko) and some other songs i forgot.
After some time of total merriment, Jonathan told me that it's time for us to go since it's already 2:30 PM. I secretly wanted to extend it but i feel that it's rather embarrassing since im their host so i gave in their request. I bid them goodbye as they left Santa's Old Town and i left on my own way.
So, we all had a really great, memorable bonding moment while singing kareoke in Santa's Old Town. For Jonathan and Mark, they told me that they had the most wonderful time ever the next day. I could see the happiness in them as they tell Marlon and NR about all the fun that we had without them. For me, giving them such joy is my gratitude to them for being the bestest friends i could possibly have. Then, there is also this feeling of satisfaction in me that i finally did what normal highschoolers usually do that i cannot do. Having an overprotective parent as well as a "homegirl" attitude, i never get to eat out with my friends in my first three years of highschool. It was only in my very last part of fourth year when i get to enjoy that perfect moment of bliss with my friends.
So, when i look back at my highschool memories some years from now, this memory will be one of those that will stand among the rest. This moment which is my first and most unforgettable rendezvous with my friends. The rendezvous which i spent time with my two best friends, Jonathan and Mark Malabanan.
Friday, February 26, 2010
My classmates in fourth year highschool...
Kevin Matthew R. Calabia, Julien Henri V.Jehan, Gideon Tyrone R. Hidalgo, Phoebe Hanna D. Ansama, Dean Tristan M. Villar and Rizelle Serrano. These six senior high school students of Infant Jesus Montessori Center Philippines are my classmates. These teenagers have been with me close for only a year(but most of them for four years) but they formed a very close bond with me that i will never ever forget.
Kevin was a fourth year highschooler ever since Ian Lopez, Ronziel Equila and some other's time. He was a close friend of mine when i was in first year. Sadly, he repeated fourth year because he wasn't doing really good in school. He improved more or less that's why he was able to graduate... or was it because teachers like sir Manto and sir Cris doesn't want to see Kevin in class anymore and the only thing that could make that happen is to pass Kevin in their classes?
Anyway, even if Kevin wasn't overly blessed with brains but at least he's really talented with drawing things and playing the guitar. Also Kevin is our pet horse/tikbalang, no wonder every time it rains on a sunny day, Kevin is missing and we get upset with him for not inviting us in his many weddings. I'll surely miss my pet horse.
Julien was the all around Frenchman of the class. Among my classmates, Julien and i are the only halfbreeds in class, the rest are Filipinos. Coincidencially, both of us exhibit a lot of traits that are typical to our non-pinoy halves. As a half-French, Julien is an extrovert on the outside but an introvert on the inside, loved France very much, fashionable, superficial, lusty(to the point that he even told us that he dreamt about raping me while he was asleep during sir Manny's class when we were in third year), shrewd, bookish, a bit lazy but a stern leader(like when he was treasurer of our class, he had us all pay our taxes on time) and he is a huge, huge fan of world history like me(particularly, French or military history). Julien and I would never be close with each other if we weren't both history bluffs, our love for France or Germany and books. It's also interesting to note that Julien and i got married in the marriage booth when we were in fourth year, thanks to my best friend Jonathan.
I will never forget him saying that he will have me deported as a terrorist when i visit France. I will miss those days when Julien and i were deeply discussing about the hundred years' war, Joan of Arc, cocktail drinks, alcoholic drinks, the human star of La Salle, (his, not our) marriage, his dream of snogging underneath a cherryblossom tree with his dream girl, his French, English and Spanish holidays, his dream of going to Italy, his boycrush with Bill Kaulitz, Tokio Hotel songs, Hayley Wiliams, universities, the prime meridian in Greenwich, a girl with glow-in-the-dark tback in Eiffel Tower, Majorca and some other things. I'll also miss those times when we were singing "Through the monsoon" or "Bluer than blue" together. I will never, ever forget my French male equivalent, the kind of best friend i was looking for when i was in elementary.
Phoebe is the fashionista girl whom i used to loathe a lot when i was in third year. I thought she will still stay as a hateful classmate to me in fourth year, but Phoebe proved me wrong. In my fourth year, Phoebe became a more considerate, more open-minded and more friendly than her third year self. Her changes impressed me so she became my friend again. She too, was impressed with my change, especially that i became closer with my classmates. I will never forget her being my official makeup hair artist. She often fix my hair every time i get a bad hair day. I'll never forget how she was amazed with me and my knowledge with a lot of interesting facts like uncle sir Pat.
Rizelle is the tall, shy, reserved girl who is Marlon's older sis. She is the one who often win in school beauty contests(she won Ms. Sportsfest when we were in fourth year, Prom princess and eventually prom queen). We weren't that much close when we were in third year but i was probably the first classmate she met in Monte. In our third year, she was "Bongang bongang Rizelle". Then in fourth year, she is always the butt of a lot of jokes and hilarious songs in our class, most popular is "Ako'y nasa Sariaya, ala siete ng gabi...". That song was so popular that even the Lucena peeps went to sing along with us when we sing that last retreat. I will never forget her smile, her long, straight, flat hair, her gowns by Chiva, her flails, her complaints about Marlon(and Marlon's complaints about her), her official stylist Raul, her timidness, her dad Rizaldy's smile and her friendliness.
Dean is the one whom i always binabra. He is the boisterous, parasitical giant classmate of ours who never fails to "base" his assignments on other people's assignments, shout in his muras and influence the minds of others with his, uhm... muras. Dean was also sir Manto's favorite student to pick up for his jokes as well as Ma'am Flor's fave pet peeve. I will never forget him bullying me for being a "Chenes", his sayings like "Ay tabakuan ni mite" or "O hindeeee...", braiding my hair, raiding my bag for my clover, cheezy, Chinese pastries, math assignments, sir Ian minusing my math assignment because Dean "based" his answers on my assignments, believing my word that Xurt is gay(because Gt is about to tell Dean that Xurt has a huge crush on me), asking me why am i Chinese even though i don't know how to speak Chinese(i snapped back at him why is Julien is French even though he doesn't know how to speak French... and Julien replying back "oh, in your face..."), his left arm with the whitebeard sign, him doodling on everywhere(from tables to Julien's back in which he drew the Huguenot symbol), drawing the Huguenot or whitebeard symbol everywhere, his dream about everyone he knew entering heaven while sir Manny is acting as San Pedro, being the leader of the Huguenots according to sir Ian, distorting the whole story of Ibong Adarna, Florante at Laura, Noli me Tangere and El Filibusterismo, being upset with tita Grace for forgetting him as her godson and loads of other mischief.
GT has been my best friend since i was in first year. He was the top of our class, the shining leader and the only honor student in our class. Even if he's shining out with all his achievements and responsibilities, he still never forgets to be kind, friendly, helpful and humble to all of us. He's the kind of honor student who still keeps his head cool and treat us as his equals. But not everything is rosy and Mary Sue-ish in Gt. Back when we were in first year, Gt is my total best friend because he was a huge Harry Potter fan like me. He was the best friend that i cherished a lot until he stopped hanging out with me, stopped being a Harry Potter fan and hanged around with his new friends. Gt was invisible in my life until the summer before we turned fourth year. I came back from Hong Kong speaking in Cantonese gibberish when i entered Brain Train. Since there's no Rafa-dears in sight, i became the one whom Gt was close with and he introduced me to his friends from LC- Ronald, Kathy, Abby and Neil. Then after the Brain Train, Gt began to treat each and every one of us class and sir Ian as his best friends(maybe in Rizelle's case, more than his best friend). GT was even my groupmate last retreat, and we had so much fun together. Once again, Gt became my best friend even though the Gt whom i used to talk about Harry Potter is long dead and gone. I will never forget the times when we talk about sir Ian, God, math, our dream schools, Ivan de los Santos, when we draw gowns, speak to each other in Chinese gibberish, when we work together as a team with Abby, Twinkle, sir Ian and t. Wei, when we ate together in Mami ni Osang during our BT sessions, when he calls me Irishes, Chenes, Shih Tzu or Hermione(first year), when he fixs my hair(and sometimes my clothes), when tita Weny helps us out in our problems, when tito Jun and i talks about random things and a loads of other things.
and last but not definately the least, me. I was considered the Chenes of the class. When i entered Montessori, i was showered with popularity and attention until new girls came to our school. I was a low profiler until i hit fourth year, when i became the "Pambansang Chenes" of the highschool. As the Pambansang Chenes, i became one not only because of my looks but because my attitude is so Chinese, the way i dress is so Chinese, i speak in Chinese gibberish, most of my favorite food are Chinese, i am really good in math(by Montessori standards), i reap a lot of academic achievements(by Montessori standards) and a lot of people say i got this aura that they feel common among Chinese.
My classmates all left in me not only treasured memories but also life's lessons. They taught me how to be sociable, how to win the acceptance of others, how to take on revenge(with laughs) and most of all, how to leave a mark on other peoples' lives.
Kevin was a fourth year highschooler ever since Ian Lopez, Ronziel Equila and some other's time. He was a close friend of mine when i was in first year. Sadly, he repeated fourth year because he wasn't doing really good in school. He improved more or less that's why he was able to graduate... or was it because teachers like sir Manto and sir Cris doesn't want to see Kevin in class anymore and the only thing that could make that happen is to pass Kevin in their classes?
Anyway, even if Kevin wasn't overly blessed with brains but at least he's really talented with drawing things and playing the guitar. Also Kevin is our pet horse/tikbalang, no wonder every time it rains on a sunny day, Kevin is missing and we get upset with him for not inviting us in his many weddings. I'll surely miss my pet horse.
Julien was the all around Frenchman of the class. Among my classmates, Julien and i are the only halfbreeds in class, the rest are Filipinos. Coincidencially, both of us exhibit a lot of traits that are typical to our non-pinoy halves. As a half-French, Julien is an extrovert on the outside but an introvert on the inside, loved France very much, fashionable, superficial, lusty(to the point that he even told us that he dreamt about raping me while he was asleep during sir Manny's class when we were in third year), shrewd, bookish, a bit lazy but a stern leader(like when he was treasurer of our class, he had us all pay our taxes on time) and he is a huge, huge fan of world history like me(particularly, French or military history). Julien and I would never be close with each other if we weren't both history bluffs, our love for France or Germany and books. It's also interesting to note that Julien and i got married in the marriage booth when we were in fourth year, thanks to my best friend Jonathan.
I will never forget him saying that he will have me deported as a terrorist when i visit France. I will miss those days when Julien and i were deeply discussing about the hundred years' war, Joan of Arc, cocktail drinks, alcoholic drinks, the human star of La Salle, (his, not our) marriage, his dream of snogging underneath a cherryblossom tree with his dream girl, his French, English and Spanish holidays, his dream of going to Italy, his boycrush with Bill Kaulitz, Tokio Hotel songs, Hayley Wiliams, universities, the prime meridian in Greenwich, a girl with glow-in-the-dark tback in Eiffel Tower, Majorca and some other things. I'll also miss those times when we were singing "Through the monsoon" or "Bluer than blue" together. I will never, ever forget my French male equivalent, the kind of best friend i was looking for when i was in elementary.
Phoebe is the fashionista girl whom i used to loathe a lot when i was in third year. I thought she will still stay as a hateful classmate to me in fourth year, but Phoebe proved me wrong. In my fourth year, Phoebe became a more considerate, more open-minded and more friendly than her third year self. Her changes impressed me so she became my friend again. She too, was impressed with my change, especially that i became closer with my classmates. I will never forget her being my official makeup hair artist. She often fix my hair every time i get a bad hair day. I'll never forget how she was amazed with me and my knowledge with a lot of interesting facts like uncle sir Pat.
Rizelle is the tall, shy, reserved girl who is Marlon's older sis. She is the one who often win in school beauty contests(she won Ms. Sportsfest when we were in fourth year, Prom princess and eventually prom queen). We weren't that much close when we were in third year but i was probably the first classmate she met in Monte. In our third year, she was "Bongang bongang Rizelle". Then in fourth year, she is always the butt of a lot of jokes and hilarious songs in our class, most popular is "Ako'y nasa Sariaya, ala siete ng gabi...". That song was so popular that even the Lucena peeps went to sing along with us when we sing that last retreat. I will never forget her smile, her long, straight, flat hair, her gowns by Chiva, her flails, her complaints about Marlon(and Marlon's complaints about her), her official stylist Raul, her timidness, her dad Rizaldy's smile and her friendliness.
Dean is the one whom i always binabra. He is the boisterous, parasitical giant classmate of ours who never fails to "base" his assignments on other people's assignments, shout in his muras and influence the minds of others with his, uhm... muras. Dean was also sir Manto's favorite student to pick up for his jokes as well as Ma'am Flor's fave pet peeve. I will never forget him bullying me for being a "Chenes", his sayings like "Ay tabakuan ni mite" or "O hindeeee...", braiding my hair, raiding my bag for my clover, cheezy, Chinese pastries, math assignments, sir Ian minusing my math assignment because Dean "based" his answers on my assignments, believing my word that Xurt is gay(because Gt is about to tell Dean that Xurt has a huge crush on me), asking me why am i Chinese even though i don't know how to speak Chinese(i snapped back at him why is Julien is French even though he doesn't know how to speak French... and Julien replying back "oh, in your face..."), his left arm with the whitebeard sign, him doodling on everywhere(from tables to Julien's back in which he drew the Huguenot symbol), drawing the Huguenot or whitebeard symbol everywhere, his dream about everyone he knew entering heaven while sir Manny is acting as San Pedro, being the leader of the Huguenots according to sir Ian, distorting the whole story of Ibong Adarna, Florante at Laura, Noli me Tangere and El Filibusterismo, being upset with tita Grace for forgetting him as her godson and loads of other mischief.
GT has been my best friend since i was in first year. He was the top of our class, the shining leader and the only honor student in our class. Even if he's shining out with all his achievements and responsibilities, he still never forgets to be kind, friendly, helpful and humble to all of us. He's the kind of honor student who still keeps his head cool and treat us as his equals. But not everything is rosy and Mary Sue-ish in Gt. Back when we were in first year, Gt is my total best friend because he was a huge Harry Potter fan like me. He was the best friend that i cherished a lot until he stopped hanging out with me, stopped being a Harry Potter fan and hanged around with his new friends. Gt was invisible in my life until the summer before we turned fourth year. I came back from Hong Kong speaking in Cantonese gibberish when i entered Brain Train. Since there's no Rafa-dears in sight, i became the one whom Gt was close with and he introduced me to his friends from LC- Ronald, Kathy, Abby and Neil. Then after the Brain Train, Gt began to treat each and every one of us class and sir Ian as his best friends(maybe in Rizelle's case, more than his best friend). GT was even my groupmate last retreat, and we had so much fun together. Once again, Gt became my best friend even though the Gt whom i used to talk about Harry Potter is long dead and gone. I will never forget the times when we talk about sir Ian, God, math, our dream schools, Ivan de los Santos, when we draw gowns, speak to each other in Chinese gibberish, when we work together as a team with Abby, Twinkle, sir Ian and t. Wei, when we ate together in Mami ni Osang during our BT sessions, when he calls me Irishes, Chenes, Shih Tzu or Hermione(first year), when he fixs my hair(and sometimes my clothes), when tita Weny helps us out in our problems, when tito Jun and i talks about random things and a loads of other things.
and last but not definately the least, me. I was considered the Chenes of the class. When i entered Montessori, i was showered with popularity and attention until new girls came to our school. I was a low profiler until i hit fourth year, when i became the "Pambansang Chenes" of the highschool. As the Pambansang Chenes, i became one not only because of my looks but because my attitude is so Chinese, the way i dress is so Chinese, i speak in Chinese gibberish, most of my favorite food are Chinese, i am really good in math(by Montessori standards), i reap a lot of academic achievements(by Montessori standards) and a lot of people say i got this aura that they feel common among Chinese.
My classmates all left in me not only treasured memories but also life's lessons. They taught me how to be sociable, how to win the acceptance of others, how to take on revenge(with laughs) and most of all, how to leave a mark on other peoples' lives.
Running through the monsoon without Bill
What would you feel if the guy whom you are dying to meet since you were 13 is not the guy whom you used to look up to and admire from afar?
I would feel really bad of course, if that happens to me. Actually, that situation could probably happen this year and unfortunately, my favorite singer/ crush/ style icon Bill Kaulitz, is no longer the visual kei hair-donning German singer whom i used to love because his sense of style mirrors mine. Instead, he became a different person and i don't like the way he changed.
Late last year, Bill told VJ Chino of MYX that Tokio Hotel plans to perform in the Philippines this 2010. By then his style was a bit okay(look at "World behind my wall" vid) but he was already different from the Bill i used to love when i was 13 up to 15. Okay, he might be beginning to change shockingly when i was 15, but all those changes are still tolerable and little compared to the rate he has now. Back then when i was 14, he used to loathe eating veggies and that was one of the many reasons why i like him. Now look at him, so skinny as a stick and he's now a vegetarian. The reason why that ostrogoth as well as his kambal sa uma and Georg became exclusive veggie eaters, i don't know. After that, Bill began to change so differently that i don't recognize him, especially Bill Kaulitz my fashion icon. I can't believe Bill ditched his already awesome tshirts, neat leather jackets, diesel pants and adidas sneaks for some outrageously flamboyant clothes like Dsquared outfits and Rick Owen high heels. Then he ditched his super cool visual kei hairstyle for a sucky hairstyle ala Colonel Sponz. Bill thinks his style became more masculine than before but i say no because he's wrong. I shout "Niet, niet" over and over on his statement because more people mistook him as a gay in his new style than before. He's a really dumb dumbass. He thinks that he's the coolest rockstar ever with his very gay new style, but nooooooo... he looks grotesque and revolting that i regret lusting after him. If i see him like that when he sings here in the Philippines, i will throw a thick business book at him, pour acid on his ugly face or tell him that his crush Edward Cullen will never date him because he's got himself an ugly, colonel Sponz hairstyle.
Why can't Bill be like other rockstars instead? Why does he have to be different from Billie Joe Armstrong, Yael Yuzon or even Gerard Way? Why does he have to wear such extravagant and flamboyant clothes even if he just walk around the streets? Why do Tokio Hotel have to have a really strange concert presence and sing emo songs?
Im so disappointed, he thinks he is so cool while in fact, he isn't. If he goes on like this, someday he'll have an infliction on his stomach, body mass, lungs, heart, blood pressure, nervous system or his whole integumentary system.
It makes me so sad that i broke down into tears every time i think about him. Maybe the reason why he looks so revolting for me is that, maybe, in my conscience's opinion, it's because God is punishing me for lusting after that guy. I abuse my admiration for Bill so much that it made God dismayed. He made Bill change like that so He would show me how dismayed he was with me. What i may be doing may be a natural thing for teenagers like me, but maybe im taking it too far that it's hurting Him. Maybe if i lessen(or stop a bit if possible), Bill will get better. Maybe when he get better, i'll see the wonderful, meat-eating, childish Bill i used to adore. If not, then i have to accept it(seriously) and move on.
So i hope when Tokio Hotel goes here in the Philippines, Bill wears his hair nice and long while in a awesome looking Dsquared tshirt, skinny jeans and black boots or sneaks. No Colonel Sponz hairstyle, huge feather-whatever or leather pants business. Or else i will make the hullabaloos from Plants vs. Zombies spit on him until he falls like the Dancing Zombie(or aka Michael Jackson).
I would feel really bad of course, if that happens to me. Actually, that situation could probably happen this year and unfortunately, my favorite singer/ crush/ style icon Bill Kaulitz, is no longer the visual kei hair-donning German singer whom i used to love because his sense of style mirrors mine. Instead, he became a different person and i don't like the way he changed.
Late last year, Bill told VJ Chino of MYX that Tokio Hotel plans to perform in the Philippines this 2010. By then his style was a bit okay(look at "World behind my wall" vid) but he was already different from the Bill i used to love when i was 13 up to 15. Okay, he might be beginning to change shockingly when i was 15, but all those changes are still tolerable and little compared to the rate he has now. Back then when i was 14, he used to loathe eating veggies and that was one of the many reasons why i like him. Now look at him, so skinny as a stick and he's now a vegetarian. The reason why that ostrogoth as well as his kambal sa uma and Georg became exclusive veggie eaters, i don't know. After that, Bill began to change so differently that i don't recognize him, especially Bill Kaulitz my fashion icon. I can't believe Bill ditched his already awesome tshirts, neat leather jackets, diesel pants and adidas sneaks for some outrageously flamboyant clothes like Dsquared outfits and Rick Owen high heels. Then he ditched his super cool visual kei hairstyle for a sucky hairstyle ala Colonel Sponz. Bill thinks his style became more masculine than before but i say no because he's wrong. I shout "Niet, niet" over and over on his statement because more people mistook him as a gay in his new style than before. He's a really dumb dumbass. He thinks that he's the coolest rockstar ever with his very gay new style, but nooooooo... he looks grotesque and revolting that i regret lusting after him. If i see him like that when he sings here in the Philippines, i will throw a thick business book at him, pour acid on his ugly face or tell him that his crush Edward Cullen will never date him because he's got himself an ugly, colonel Sponz hairstyle.
Why can't Bill be like other rockstars instead? Why does he have to be different from Billie Joe Armstrong, Yael Yuzon or even Gerard Way? Why does he have to wear such extravagant and flamboyant clothes even if he just walk around the streets? Why do Tokio Hotel have to have a really strange concert presence and sing emo songs?
Im so disappointed, he thinks he is so cool while in fact, he isn't. If he goes on like this, someday he'll have an infliction on his stomach, body mass, lungs, heart, blood pressure, nervous system or his whole integumentary system.
It makes me so sad that i broke down into tears every time i think about him. Maybe the reason why he looks so revolting for me is that, maybe, in my conscience's opinion, it's because God is punishing me for lusting after that guy. I abuse my admiration for Bill so much that it made God dismayed. He made Bill change like that so He would show me how dismayed he was with me. What i may be doing may be a natural thing for teenagers like me, but maybe im taking it too far that it's hurting Him. Maybe if i lessen(or stop a bit if possible), Bill will get better. Maybe when he get better, i'll see the wonderful, meat-eating, childish Bill i used to adore. If not, then i have to accept it(seriously) and move on.
So i hope when Tokio Hotel goes here in the Philippines, Bill wears his hair nice and long while in a awesome looking Dsquared tshirt, skinny jeans and black boots or sneaks. No Colonel Sponz hairstyle, huge feather-whatever or leather pants business. Or else i will make the hullabaloos from Plants vs. Zombies spit on him until he falls like the Dancing Zombie(or aka Michael Jackson).
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