Isagani of Jose Rizal's political novel, El Filibusterismo, was a sensitive and patriotic poet whose impulsive action to save his love, Paulita Gomez, had him unintentionally sabotaging Simoun's plan to blow up Paulita's wedding place- thus, totally destroying a step to free Philippines from the cruel Spaniards. Isagani studied in Ateneo de Manila and he is best of friends with fellow Atenista (or as some say Tomasino) Basilio.
I got to know who Isagani was when Ate Ash told me the story of El Filibusterismo when i was in Grade 5. After hearing that Isagani messed Simoun's whole grand masterly plan up, i was so pissed up with him. It's also likely from Isagani where i first heard of Ateneo de Manila- the school im probably going to next school year. It's also worth noting that one point when i was in grade 6, my English teacher, Teacher Hailey Ferrer, told my class that her hubby(and my first physics teacher in Cahbriba), T.Jeric E. Ferrer, was descended from someone surnamed Egasani- Jose Rizal's old playmate whom Rizal probably named Isagani after.
For years, i looked at Isagani with contempt. I always thought of him as someone who's as crazy as Sisa( no wonder Isagani and Basilio are best of friends), especially when i was in fourth year highschool, when we were already discussing the chapter where Isagani was so emo about Paulita marrying off Juanito Pelaez. I felt so bad that i wished i was Isagani, so things would be much different from what happened in the story. According to my answer on my (last) final exam in Filipino, if i were Isagani, i took Basilio's advice, go far away with him and let Paulita die a terrible death with Juanito. The reason why i answered that, because Paulita broke Isagani's heart and she deserved to be blown up. I strongly believe in karma and in Justin Timberlake's song "What goes around, comes around."
I remember clearly as well that i asked T.Anna(my Filipino teacher) why Isagani can't let go of Paulita even if she dumped him. She looked at me with a smile and said, "Kasi Irish, may mga tao rin na di kayang maka let-go ng minamahal nila kahit sinaktan na nila sila. Ganun talaga pag love."("Because Irish, there are also people who can't let go of whom they love even if they're rejected. That's love anyway." in Filipino)
I never knew back then that i too, will end up slightly like Isagani- someone who was believed to be crazy, while in fact, just misunderstood because of a broken heart.
As my Montessori days drew to a close, i thought of packing up all my things from my besmirched locker and taking them home. As i ransacked all of my books, piles of quizzes, scitechs, blunt pencils and oil pastels, i came across my copy of El Filibusterismo, a book which gave me lots of laugh from the past and a sense of relation later on. I flipped across the pages- and singing "Insomia" whenever Macaraig is mentioned along the way-, until i landed on "Chapter 24- Mga Pangarap"(or "the aspirations of Isagani")
In this chapter, Isagani went to Malecon to meet up with his gf Paulita Gomez. Last night, he saw Paulita sweetly with his friend, Juanito Pelaez, in a French play, Les Cloches de Corneville. Out of shock, Isagani was petrified for the whole night.
That certain thursday was a cold, dark one for Isagani. Everything around him seemed depressing, all the people walking around seemed to be full of themselves and the children playing on the streets annoyed him. He recalls all the good times he had with Paulita and remembering them hurts him so. His pain was so severe that he wished that he would rather be killed by Germans than experience the heart ache he is having now.
Then, he met Paulita with Juanito and Donya Victorina. He told Paulita that he was upset upon seeing her with Juanito in the French play last night but Paulita told Isagani that she was upset too upon seeing him staring keenly at the French actresses(in fact, Isagani went blank because of her). Then Donya Victorina butts in and asks Isagani about Juanito.
Isagani was confused why Donya Victorina would ask about Juanito. He really want to tell Paulita and Donya Victorina all the evilness of Juanito, but out of courtesy, he just praised Juanito and told them that he's a good guy.
Then Isagani asked Paulita why her "ali" is asking him about Juanito. Paulita told him because she wanted to divorce Don Tiburcio de Espadana and marry Juanito. Tiburcio was hiding in Isagani's uncle's home somewhere very far from Manila. The two had a laugh about it.
Then Isagani told Paulita about his dreams and aspirations. He dreamt of marrying her and the two living together in his serene, peaceful province(aka where Isagani's uncle and Tiburcio Magnantuta lives) but for the super-pampered and spoiled Paulita, Isagani's idyllic paradise is a horrible hell full of creepy leeches.
Then after that, Dona Victorina called Paulita to go home. Surprisingly, she also invited Isagani for a ride with them, a ride that Isagani will surely remember. Beside Paulita, Isagani could feel the tingeling sensation of her soft, sweet smelling skin. Riding along the streets of Manila beside his lady fair made him think he was in heaven.
Some chapters later, Isagani was rejected by Paulita because of his liberal ideas(and his Amish paradise) and she married Juanito Pelaez instead. From then on, Isagani was hearbroken and dejected.
The reason why Chapter 24 had a huge impact in me is that because all of what Isagani felt in that chapter i felt as well, and something like this happened to me.
Chapter 24 sort of mirrors one texting galore of me and Xurt. The day before my camping, Xurt told me things about Wendy- which made me curious and a bit jealous. Then he confided in me that he has a huge crush on Wendy(much to my dismay since im developing some feelings for him) but CJ Recto also had a huge crush on Wendy as well. See? It's like an Isagani(me)- Paulita(Xurt)-Juanito(Wendy)- Dona Victorina (CJ) love square- it's not a triangle since there are four sides.
And Isagani's end also happened to me. Some days later, Xurt told me that he is in love with Wendy- a really huge blow in my heart(i thought Bill will be the next to break my heart after Keith). I was rejected the way Paulita rejected Isagani.
My similarities with Isagani are not only our school, kind of best friend, kind of guardian but our own love lives as well.
It's funny to hear that im comparing my love life to scenes from a deep, dark, political novel mainly about Spanish oppression in 19th century Philippines. But all of what i felt right now matches the mood, the disposition and most of all, the feelings of a certain character from the story. As my heart tear into pieces whenever i heard of Xurt and/or Wendy, so does Isagani whenever he saw Paulita being with Juanito. And with El Filibusterismo, i found someone whom i share the same situation and found a sense of relation with him.
Although i can strongly stress out that i don't feel true love in Xurt, my (puppy) love for him hurts me so. I wish when i hit my college days, i will no longer be hurt about him and move on with life. I hope i will never stare for endless hours on Xurt's text messages when i should be staring at the pages of my books, business plans, poems or essays. Isagani's case is more or less worse because his love for Paulita is true but he was lucky because text messaging aren't the in-thing back then-lol. After Paulita's wedding, Isagani went back to his uncle, uncle Fr. Florentino, in the somewhere-near-the-sea place, where he will never get to talk to or see Paulita again. Now that he's away from Paulita, it may be easier for him to forget about her.
Unlucky that i am still bound to reply if Xurt still texts me in Ateneo, there's still a good ray of luck in me. If i still get to hear from Xurt by that time, one day i'll hear him happily tell me that he's with Wendy. If that slightly inevitable day will come, i will invite my Chinese friends over to Crisostomo's resto in Eastwood to celebrate the "in-a-relationship status" of a hua-na(or whatever it is that us Fujianese-Filipinos call a Filipino) who once had a crush on me and i got a crush on once as well. In Crisostomo's, i will order Sisig Isagani, Bistek ni Pelaez and something concerning Paulita Gomez. Like in the Chapter "Tawanan at iyakan" where Isagani and his peeps jokingly dedicated some food to don Custodio and the friars, i will dedicate the Bistek ni Pelaez to Wendy, the something about Paulita to Xurt and Sisig ni Isagani to my besmirched lovelife and my freedom from Xurt. If im still heartbroken about Xurt by that time, then i should seriously take my best friend Jonathan's advice, "If you wanted to get away from Xurt, join Tokio Hotel".
Showing posts with label Basilio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Basilio. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Saturday, November 28, 2009
El Filibusterismo- a crazy twist by the fourth years
My class' crazy version of Jose Rizal's famous El Filibusterismo... (mostly Dean, Gt and mine's version-lol) I hope no one will bash about it. Reading El Filibusterismo is part of the Philippine highschool curriculum, so every senior highschool student in the Philippines should study about Jose Rizal's famous, awe-inspiring historical novel. Im sure that some students may find reading that novel as boring and useless but if they're blessed with absurd thinking classmates, they might find the story filled with weird settings, crazy events and a rather colorful cast like corny stuffs, people dying from drinking too much coffee, Corazon Aquino, UPLB, Francis M, Craig David, Tokio Hotel planning to invade the Philippines literally, old men learning how to dance ballet, the Kapitan Heneral kidnapped by UST students, people being arrested for driving their calesas in Makati when their calesas are coding and After-British-rule-Hong Kong pop culture.
Once upon a time, there was a very corny streamer called "Tabo" making it's way slowly among the murky Laguna de Bay(that is full of mermen and gillyweeds). There was mud, bamboos and Bamboo singing "Yo tell me what you want..." in the banks of the bay as the streamer passes by. In the upper deck of the streamer are Spaniards and Spaniard-Spaniardans talking about Spanish stuffs, Rommjan Mendoza and a certain "Rey Mysterio" called Simoun. Primadonna Dona Victorina was pissed off with the old, merry indios around the lake and the skipper shouting "Baporps" and "Estaborps". On the lower deck are passengers like Indios and sleeping Cheneses. Among them are Basilio- my Atenista best friend from the mental hospital and Isagani- who had a crush of Phoebe's ex's girlfriend. Those guys were talking about putting up a Spanish school. Basilio is on his way to go home to his hometown Jerusalem. In the Noche Buena of Ashton Kutchero, he was beaten up by some Bashi-bazouks while Kevin just looks at him tearfully.
Then Basilio snuck down from the house in which he was staying at and into the woods where his mental mom Sisa was buried. There he met "Papa Piolo" Simoun, whom Basilio quickly recognizes as Crisostomo Ibarra.
On Christmas time, Basilio's gf Juli woke up with a start and snogged the emerald locket Basi gave her. The locket once belonged to Salazar Slytherin, then to the basilisk who lives in a secretive chamber of deputies in France, then to Maria Clara after defeating the monster on a French Riviera vacation with Ibarra 13 years back, then to a beggar/gigolo called Nicholas Toussant, then to Basilio as payment for curing his syphilis. Her dad Kabesang Tales who had a really hard time with the Prayle corporation. The Prayle corp. are trying to confiscate Kabesang Tales' land in which he, his zombie wife, his zombie eldest daughter, Juli, Tano, Old Tata Selo ( not GT's little sis, okay?? she doesn't even exist during Rizal's time) and some gang of Amishes worked hard and partied like in 1699. Then Kabesang Tales got kidnapped by a gang of communists because... well, he is a rich capitalist who invest in the London, New York, Frankfurt, Hong Kong, Tokyo and Singapore stock exchange. The communists are asking Juli for $ 500,000,000,000,000,000 and some bags of Cheezee and Clover to eat. Having none of these ready, she went to work as a maid for Corazon Aquino aka Hermana Penchang. One day, Tata Selo suffered a stroke after a ballet practice and then he lost his voice. Then Juli finally paid off the communists and set dad free.
One day, Kabesang Tales got mad at the friars to the point he stole Simoun's revolver and exchanged it with Juli's locket(which has so much sentimental value for Simoun aka Ibarra) and ironically, joined the NPAs who kidnapped him- Stockholm Syndrome much??
Then in Los Banos, the Governor General and his homies were hunting some deers and UP students as they talked about the Spanish school thing kids like Basilio were talking about, Jesuit priests and sore eyes.
Meanwhile, in faraway UST in Espania, Sampaloc Manila, UST law student Placido Penintente was having a really hard time with his Physics professor Padre Millon because Millon wasn't a licensed teacher (Okay, try finding Millon in the list of licensed teachers in PRC). Then it was mentioned that 19th century Atenistas hastily walk around wearing European clothes like H&M, Christian Audigier, Tazuma, Marks and Spensers, Topshop, Zara, Mango and Chanel with a pile of books on their arms like Hermione Granger, while Letraners walk around with fewer books and they were wearing Pinoy mainstream clothes like Bench, Penshoppe, Human, those big "Three stars and a sun" tshirts, i heart Ninoy tshirts, Cory ribbons and banana peel slippers. Then there are also plans to erect a statue of a well-loved UST Prof(i hope it's sir Nyeh Nyeh aka sir Nick) to rival "Avatar-Benavides".
In UST, students arent allowed to touch scientific apparatus so UST sucks back then.
In Macaraig(the guy who sang Insomia)'s Xavierville town house was full of boarding Atenist students who spend much time doing homework(as usual), play fencing, basketball and hitting Chinese vendors who can't set up a Shakeys, Starbucks or Macdonalds franchise near Ateneo back then. Here, we meet Sandoval, the Spanish thespian who loves everything Filipino and Pecson, the guy who says "No to drugs". In Macaraig's home, all the guys who wanted to set up a school for the Spanish language meet up and talk about their plans. They need to bribe Don Custody or Ginoong Pasta so their Spanish school will be approved. The bribes that they will be using are hookers from Amsterdam and Las Vegas. Sadly, both failed.
Meanwhile, the Chenes Quiroga who looks a hell like me was having a party in the USA in his house, inviting all the most important poobahs of the land so he can be the consul of China. Quiroga was being emo about losing some 9000 pesoses because he bought some purty bracelets from Simoun and he offered a salamahe lady just one of the bracelets but she got them all. Simoun told the chenes not to fret and he'll pay all the people's debts from him on one condition. The condition is that Quiroganess should allow Simoun to use his warehouse to store his guns, ammo and AKs.
After the party of Quiroga, Ben Zayb and Father Camorra went to the Quiapo fair(aka manghuhula, gayuma, pirated dvd, porn vids, Hayden Kho and eskandalo galore) and they were gawking at the girls out there, they even spotted Paulita Gomez making a grand entrance with an Isagani who seemed to be looking like a Bill Kaulitz strutting around on a Comet awards' red carpet. Thank goodness for them(and for Juanito and Dona Victorina being emo behind them), paparazzis don't exist yet since digicams aren't the in thing yet back then.
Then an American wannabe cholo gangsta mr.Leeds had a magic show which had Dean Villar's talking head(even if he's decapitated, he still talks and talks). Then Padre Salvi fainted and seeing this as an awesome fad to follow, all the ladies in the show also fainted.
Then some boring chapters later, there was a show called Mel and Joey that everyone in Manila wanted to watch. There was a guy called Camaroncocido who was being greeted "Kaibigan..." by
Boy Abunda, then his best friend Francis M came wearing a pair of Levis jeans. Francis M told Camaroncocido that Rizelle gave him a large sum of money for Mel and Joey posters to be posted all over Manila. In the show, Tadeo was showing all his homies from the province how awesome he is in Manila that he even knew the Governor general personally. While hanging out with Macaraig("Insomia, hu-aaaaaah..."), Isagani spotted Paulita from a distance dating Juanito Pelaez and with Dona Victorina as chaperon. Isagani was downtrodden but he recalled poor Don Tiburcio (Madlangtuta), the battered hubby of Dona Victorina who fled and spirited away in UPLB, where he was having a good time as a political activist of the Arroyo regime.
(Then Dean shouted that Tiburcio is hotter than Juanito Pelaez after t. Anna told us that Dona Victorina loves Juanito)
While Isagani is into the blue(and when he lose himself, he thinks of you?? wtf...), Macaraig, Pecson, Sandoval and Tadeo are waiting for the cancan of Julien Jehan. The reason why there are domestic helpers is that because of the domestiques.
(Then Dean told us that in this part Juanito undressed Dona Victorina. yuck, Dean...)
Meanwhile, Juanito was telling Donya Victorina about some French like Servantes(yung mga tulad daw ni Julien).
After that, Maria Clara suddenly died, which thwarted Simoun's plans for a revolution tonight. No, the reason why Simoun wasn't in the play is that because he is the makeup artist of the French actresses.
The next day, Isagani was full of jealousy and anger as he walked through the valley where he harvests his grain. He was sad because of Paulita, he remembers the times when he was with her, when they saw Agua and Bendita. Then he met up with Paulita who confronted him(since she thought last night that Isagani was also waiting for the cancan like Macaraig) and then both forgave each other. Isagani told Paulita to come live with him, Father Florentino and Tiburcio Madlangtuta and be his love in Kowloon Bay, but Paulita told him that she doesnt want to live in an inaccessible place since there's no cheap bus routes there and she doesn't have a passport yet. Isagani told Paulita that there's an MTR station there, but still Paulita doesn't want to.
Then Macaraig(Insomia-aaaaaaaaaah...), Isagani, Pecson, Sandoval, Juanito and some other people went to a Chenes resto where they saw Cyclops and there is a banner on the resto that says "Luwalhati kay Bill Kaulitz dahil sa kanyang ka-ulagaan"
Because of Cyclops, there are posters flying out everywhere in Manila the next day. Basilio, who wasn't in the dinner party, was arrested and Macaraig(Insomia-aaaaah...) laughed a lot as they are both sent to prison. Isagani and Father Fernandez were babbling about something we found boring.
After that, Manila was in chaos. Quiroga became paranoid and he hired a battalion of bodyguards, then Tokio Hotel came in Metro Manila(YEEPEE!!!^^), the Kapitan Heneral was kidnapped by students from UST(see, i told you a lot of UST students are evil like *cough* Keith Coral??), Padre Irene visited Kapitan Tiago, Kapitan Tiago died from drinking too much coffee, Tadeo was shot and Isagani surrendered himself to authorities since he's crazy and a kamanyag is a snake bite.
While Basilio was in prison, Juli asked Hermana Bali-who lives in Bali- for advice since Tata Selo is corny. She had a nightmare of Basilio being AK-ed by Spaniards. Bali told her to go to Camorra, where she was almost raped but she killed herself.
After being released, almost all the students failed their exams. Macaraig(Insomia-aaaaaaaaaahh) went to Europe to start a musical career. Only Isagani and Sandoval passed the exams. Basilio was still in jail coz he possessed the book of everything which the Spaniards banned since it's written in English. Ashton Kutcher was thrown in prison with Basilio because his calesa is coding in Makati. Isagani was dumped by Paulita because he's weird. Paulita will be marrying Juanito off because he's shy, sweet and quiet... just like her. Paulita told Isagani that Juanito is the one she wants to be with, get it?? ;-)
So Isagani cried, cried and cried.
Suddenly, Basilio was set free by Simoun. Basilio now a changed man, joined Simoun, who was planning to blast off Paulita and Juanito's wedding with nitro gliserina(aka pampaputi). Then the wedding day came("Oh hinde..." said Dean). Most of the students went back home and played farmville, while Isagani was nowhere to be seen(Either nasa CR, nasa Cafeworld or tinitingnan ang mga photos ni Paulita sa facebook nya at nag e-emo).
Simoun left the wedding feast and gave a lamp to the couple. The lamp was supposed to set off if it werent for Isagani's epal-ness that he threw the lamp off and jumped in the river.
Then came the chika minute of Ben Zayb, when everyone discovered that Simoun is probably a filibuster like Captain Haddock claimed.
Meanwhile in the Orendas' residence. Isagani was playing with the youngest Orenda girl with sunka, jump ropes, play doh and barbie dolls when the Orendas, Moymoy Palaboy and Chichoy talked about the wedding feast. There was gunpowder all over the place and they revealed that Isagani is Chinese like Quiroga and so does Father Florentino. After that, Isagani bid farewell to the Orendas and went off to Kowloon Bay to live with his uncle and forget all his miseries with history books, watching Old time buddy, Virtues of Harmony 1-kasi ang settings nun ay 15th century- and some childrens' show on TVB, asnwering sudoku on the streets and bottles of Heineken with his uncle(di ba, dun naman talaga yung tito nya nakatira?? yung tito nyang Chenes na mahilig sa Heineken at Doraemon??).
After that, Matanglawin(aka Kabesang Tales or popularly known as Kuya Kim) killed a judge... OMG. Then Tano accidentally killed the corny tata Selo.
Then the "katapusan" came in Kowloon Bay when Father Florentino received a not from Perez Hilton that the Spanish officials are going to his house to capture a disabled Spaniard and have a cup of tea with him. Tiburcio Madlangtuta, thinking he was the disabled Spaniard the Spanish guys were implying that they wanted to capture, fled off the father's house. The disabled Spaniard was in fact Simoun, who was hiding in Florentino's house. Simoun took poison and he told Florention of his secret. He was Crisostomo Ibarra, after a great misfortune in the Philippines, he fled to Cuba(where there are a lot of kubas) and made friends with the Kapitan Heneral and helped him rose into power. Then he inspired corruption in the Philippines(that's why there is corruption in the Philippines) and the rest is history. Simoun died(so Isagani havent saw this coz he's always late, he rode in the Philippine Airlines, there was a huge traffic between Chek Lap Kok and Kowloon Bay or all of the above??) and Father Florentino threw Simoun's riches off the bay, hoping the riches will be for the use of good stuffs instead of evil(but instead it was unearthed by scrupulous, greedy and dirty Chinese jewelers and used them to make fake versions of those and sell them on ebay).
Finished.
Once upon a time, there was a very corny streamer called "Tabo" making it's way slowly among the murky Laguna de Bay(that is full of mermen and gillyweeds). There was mud, bamboos and Bamboo singing "Yo tell me what you want..." in the banks of the bay as the streamer passes by. In the upper deck of the streamer are Spaniards and Spaniard-Spaniardans talking about Spanish stuffs, Rommjan Mendoza and a certain "Rey Mysterio" called Simoun. Primadonna Dona Victorina was pissed off with the old, merry indios around the lake and the skipper shouting "Baporps" and "Estaborps". On the lower deck are passengers like Indios and sleeping Cheneses. Among them are Basilio- my Atenista best friend from the mental hospital and Isagani- who had a crush of Phoebe's ex's girlfriend. Those guys were talking about putting up a Spanish school. Basilio is on his way to go home to his hometown Jerusalem. In the Noche Buena of Ashton Kutchero, he was beaten up by some Bashi-bazouks while Kevin just looks at him tearfully.
Then Basilio snuck down from the house in which he was staying at and into the woods where his mental mom Sisa was buried. There he met "Papa Piolo" Simoun, whom Basilio quickly recognizes as Crisostomo Ibarra.
On Christmas time, Basilio's gf Juli woke up with a start and snogged the emerald locket Basi gave her. The locket once belonged to Salazar Slytherin, then to the basilisk who lives in a secretive chamber of deputies in France, then to Maria Clara after defeating the monster on a French Riviera vacation with Ibarra 13 years back, then to a beggar/gigolo called Nicholas Toussant, then to Basilio as payment for curing his syphilis. Her dad Kabesang Tales who had a really hard time with the Prayle corporation. The Prayle corp. are trying to confiscate Kabesang Tales' land in which he, his zombie wife, his zombie eldest daughter, Juli, Tano, Old Tata Selo ( not GT's little sis, okay?? she doesn't even exist during Rizal's time) and some gang of Amishes worked hard and partied like in 1699. Then Kabesang Tales got kidnapped by a gang of communists because... well, he is a rich capitalist who invest in the London, New York, Frankfurt, Hong Kong, Tokyo and Singapore stock exchange. The communists are asking Juli for $ 500,000,000,000,000,000 and some bags of Cheezee and Clover to eat. Having none of these ready, she went to work as a maid for Corazon Aquino aka Hermana Penchang. One day, Tata Selo suffered a stroke after a ballet practice and then he lost his voice. Then Juli finally paid off the communists and set dad free.
One day, Kabesang Tales got mad at the friars to the point he stole Simoun's revolver and exchanged it with Juli's locket(which has so much sentimental value for Simoun aka Ibarra) and ironically, joined the NPAs who kidnapped him- Stockholm Syndrome much??
Then in Los Banos, the Governor General and his homies were hunting some deers and UP students as they talked about the Spanish school thing kids like Basilio were talking about, Jesuit priests and sore eyes.
Meanwhile, in faraway UST in Espania, Sampaloc Manila, UST law student Placido Penintente was having a really hard time with his Physics professor Padre Millon because Millon wasn't a licensed teacher (Okay, try finding Millon in the list of licensed teachers in PRC). Then it was mentioned that 19th century Atenistas hastily walk around wearing European clothes like H&M, Christian Audigier, Tazuma, Marks and Spensers, Topshop, Zara, Mango and Chanel with a pile of books on their arms like Hermione Granger, while Letraners walk around with fewer books and they were wearing Pinoy mainstream clothes like Bench, Penshoppe, Human, those big "Three stars and a sun" tshirts, i heart Ninoy tshirts, Cory ribbons and banana peel slippers. Then there are also plans to erect a statue of a well-loved UST Prof(i hope it's sir Nyeh Nyeh aka sir Nick) to rival "Avatar-Benavides".
In UST, students arent allowed to touch scientific apparatus so UST sucks back then.
In Macaraig(the guy who sang Insomia)'s Xavierville town house was full of boarding Atenist students who spend much time doing homework(as usual), play fencing, basketball and hitting Chinese vendors who can't set up a Shakeys, Starbucks or Macdonalds franchise near Ateneo back then. Here, we meet Sandoval, the Spanish thespian who loves everything Filipino and Pecson, the guy who says "No to drugs". In Macaraig's home, all the guys who wanted to set up a school for the Spanish language meet up and talk about their plans. They need to bribe Don Custody or Ginoong Pasta so their Spanish school will be approved. The bribes that they will be using are hookers from Amsterdam and Las Vegas. Sadly, both failed.
Meanwhile, the Chenes Quiroga who looks a hell like me was having a party in the USA in his house, inviting all the most important poobahs of the land so he can be the consul of China. Quiroga was being emo about losing some 9000 pesoses because he bought some purty bracelets from Simoun and he offered a salamahe lady just one of the bracelets but she got them all. Simoun told the chenes not to fret and he'll pay all the people's debts from him on one condition. The condition is that Quiroganess should allow Simoun to use his warehouse to store his guns, ammo and AKs.
After the party of Quiroga, Ben Zayb and Father Camorra went to the Quiapo fair(aka manghuhula, gayuma, pirated dvd, porn vids, Hayden Kho and eskandalo galore) and they were gawking at the girls out there, they even spotted Paulita Gomez making a grand entrance with an Isagani who seemed to be looking like a Bill Kaulitz strutting around on a Comet awards' red carpet. Thank goodness for them(and for Juanito and Dona Victorina being emo behind them), paparazzis don't exist yet since digicams aren't the in thing yet back then.
Then an American wannabe cholo gangsta mr.Leeds had a magic show which had Dean Villar's talking head(even if he's decapitated, he still talks and talks). Then Padre Salvi fainted and seeing this as an awesome fad to follow, all the ladies in the show also fainted.
Then some boring chapters later, there was a show called Mel and Joey that everyone in Manila wanted to watch. There was a guy called Camaroncocido who was being greeted "Kaibigan..." by
Boy Abunda, then his best friend Francis M came wearing a pair of Levis jeans. Francis M told Camaroncocido that Rizelle gave him a large sum of money for Mel and Joey posters to be posted all over Manila. In the show, Tadeo was showing all his homies from the province how awesome he is in Manila that he even knew the Governor general personally. While hanging out with Macaraig("Insomia, hu-aaaaaah..."), Isagani spotted Paulita from a distance dating Juanito Pelaez and with Dona Victorina as chaperon. Isagani was downtrodden but he recalled poor Don Tiburcio (Madlangtuta), the battered hubby of Dona Victorina who fled and spirited away in UPLB, where he was having a good time as a political activist of the Arroyo regime.
(Then Dean shouted that Tiburcio is hotter than Juanito Pelaez after t. Anna told us that Dona Victorina loves Juanito)
While Isagani is into the blue(and when he lose himself, he thinks of you?? wtf...), Macaraig, Pecson, Sandoval and Tadeo are waiting for the cancan of Julien Jehan. The reason why there are domestic helpers is that because of the domestiques.
(Then Dean told us that in this part Juanito undressed Dona Victorina. yuck, Dean...)
Meanwhile, Juanito was telling Donya Victorina about some French like Servantes(yung mga tulad daw ni Julien).
After that, Maria Clara suddenly died, which thwarted Simoun's plans for a revolution tonight. No, the reason why Simoun wasn't in the play is that because he is the makeup artist of the French actresses.
The next day, Isagani was full of jealousy and anger as he walked through the valley where he harvests his grain. He was sad because of Paulita, he remembers the times when he was with her, when they saw Agua and Bendita. Then he met up with Paulita who confronted him(since she thought last night that Isagani was also waiting for the cancan like Macaraig) and then both forgave each other. Isagani told Paulita to come live with him, Father Florentino and Tiburcio Madlangtuta and be his love in Kowloon Bay, but Paulita told him that she doesnt want to live in an inaccessible place since there's no cheap bus routes there and she doesn't have a passport yet. Isagani told Paulita that there's an MTR station there, but still Paulita doesn't want to.
Then Macaraig(Insomia-aaaaaaaaaah...), Isagani, Pecson, Sandoval, Juanito and some other people went to a Chenes resto where they saw Cyclops and there is a banner on the resto that says "Luwalhati kay Bill Kaulitz dahil sa kanyang ka-ulagaan"
Because of Cyclops, there are posters flying out everywhere in Manila the next day. Basilio, who wasn't in the dinner party, was arrested and Macaraig(Insomia-aaaaah...) laughed a lot as they are both sent to prison. Isagani and Father Fernandez were babbling about something we found boring.
After that, Manila was in chaos. Quiroga became paranoid and he hired a battalion of bodyguards, then Tokio Hotel came in Metro Manila(YEEPEE!!!^^), the Kapitan Heneral was kidnapped by students from UST(see, i told you a lot of UST students are evil like *cough* Keith Coral??), Padre Irene visited Kapitan Tiago, Kapitan Tiago died from drinking too much coffee, Tadeo was shot and Isagani surrendered himself to authorities since he's crazy and a kamanyag is a snake bite.
While Basilio was in prison, Juli asked Hermana Bali-who lives in Bali- for advice since Tata Selo is corny. She had a nightmare of Basilio being AK-ed by Spaniards. Bali told her to go to Camorra, where she was almost raped but she killed herself.
After being released, almost all the students failed their exams. Macaraig(Insomia-aaaaaaaaaahh) went to Europe to start a musical career. Only Isagani and Sandoval passed the exams. Basilio was still in jail coz he possessed the book of everything which the Spaniards banned since it's written in English. Ashton Kutcher was thrown in prison with Basilio because his calesa is coding in Makati. Isagani was dumped by Paulita because he's weird. Paulita will be marrying Juanito off because he's shy, sweet and quiet... just like her. Paulita told Isagani that Juanito is the one she wants to be with, get it?? ;-)
So Isagani cried, cried and cried.
Suddenly, Basilio was set free by Simoun. Basilio now a changed man, joined Simoun, who was planning to blast off Paulita and Juanito's wedding with nitro gliserina(aka pampaputi). Then the wedding day came("Oh hinde..." said Dean). Most of the students went back home and played farmville, while Isagani was nowhere to be seen(Either nasa CR, nasa Cafeworld or tinitingnan ang mga photos ni Paulita sa facebook nya at nag e-emo).
Simoun left the wedding feast and gave a lamp to the couple. The lamp was supposed to set off if it werent for Isagani's epal-ness that he threw the lamp off and jumped in the river.
Then came the chika minute of Ben Zayb, when everyone discovered that Simoun is probably a filibuster like Captain Haddock claimed.
Meanwhile in the Orendas' residence. Isagani was playing with the youngest Orenda girl with sunka, jump ropes, play doh and barbie dolls when the Orendas, Moymoy Palaboy and Chichoy talked about the wedding feast. There was gunpowder all over the place and they revealed that Isagani is Chinese like Quiroga and so does Father Florentino. After that, Isagani bid farewell to the Orendas and went off to Kowloon Bay to live with his uncle and forget all his miseries with history books, watching Old time buddy, Virtues of Harmony 1-kasi ang settings nun ay 15th century- and some childrens' show on TVB, asnwering sudoku on the streets and bottles of Heineken with his uncle(di ba, dun naman talaga yung tito nya nakatira?? yung tito nyang Chenes na mahilig sa Heineken at Doraemon??).
After that, Matanglawin(aka Kabesang Tales or popularly known as Kuya Kim) killed a judge... OMG. Then Tano accidentally killed the corny tata Selo.
Then the "katapusan" came in Kowloon Bay when Father Florentino received a not from Perez Hilton that the Spanish officials are going to his house to capture a disabled Spaniard and have a cup of tea with him. Tiburcio Madlangtuta, thinking he was the disabled Spaniard the Spanish guys were implying that they wanted to capture, fled off the father's house. The disabled Spaniard was in fact Simoun, who was hiding in Florentino's house. Simoun took poison and he told Florention of his secret. He was Crisostomo Ibarra, after a great misfortune in the Philippines, he fled to Cuba(where there are a lot of kubas) and made friends with the Kapitan Heneral and helped him rose into power. Then he inspired corruption in the Philippines(that's why there is corruption in the Philippines) and the rest is history. Simoun died(so Isagani havent saw this coz he's always late, he rode in the Philippine Airlines, there was a huge traffic between Chek Lap Kok and Kowloon Bay or all of the above??) and Father Florentino threw Simoun's riches off the bay, hoping the riches will be for the use of good stuffs instead of evil(but instead it was unearthed by scrupulous, greedy and dirty Chinese jewelers and used them to make fake versions of those and sell them on ebay).
Finished.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Shenanigans at the ACET
Last week, i just had my Ateneo College Entrance Test or aka "the unfinishable entrance exam" as i noticed( because of the short time particularly at the aptitude tests) but i found the ACET more memorable than the UPCAT in a lighter way, with those kwelas, kagagugan and kabalastigan happening inside me, poof, it became oh so memorable.
The essay part- after answering the English part(it was kinda easy coz they were mostly those questions sir Manto used to ask us in quizzes and exams- yeah i owed a great deal with him even if he's kinda strict), we were given out a question to answer in essay form. Unfortunately most of us had only 15 minutes to do the essay befores up for the English. Actually, my essay was missing a good conclusion, i was still in the middle of giving out a good arguement and example- Im not talking about Tokio Hotel here. ;)
The math part- Earlier that morning, i overheard some parents who were talking about the ACET. Some of their children's friends took the ACET on Manila yesterday and they told that the math part was really hard. I admit the math part was hard, that is the problem solving part(which is the Numerical Ability on the aptitude test part later on). But the math on the red test paper was fairly easy. Like on the english with sir Manto, the math one was kinda like what sir Ian mostly asks us about(except for the trigonometry part). When i was answering the f of x and synthetic division part, I imagined sir Ian beside me playing with a psp and telling me "Ay lugeh ka ngayon". That made me mutter out "Lugeh ka ngayon..."
General Information- My favorite part in the aptitude test since most questions were based from history and im such a history buff. There were also those science questions but at least those mole fractions, avogadro's law, gay lussac's law and chemistry computations were gone but in the numerical ability there were those compuations for Physics.
Reading Comphrehension- This was the explitly, kinda lustful one. There was a reading there about dreams and what dreams really serves as for people. I read there that dreams were like the thoughts hidden in our minds that we completly deny which only submerge when we're asleep. So my first thought about it went to Bill Kaulitz, whom i dreamed a few times "doing it" with him. Gasp, that means i want some pornographic moment with Bill?!!... i thought. Of all things that i can recall during the ACET like Sisa, Basilio, Yael Yuzon, sir Manny, Crispin, Hermione Granger, why should it be my very deep, intimate moment with Bill that never really happened?
Like if Bill was really there beside me at that very moment and he can read minds like his idol Edward Cullen, he would've slapped me multiple times and cursed me in German that i'll not pass the ACET.
So my tips for those who'll be taking the ACET next year, study well in PROBLEM SOLVING, STATISTICS and TRIGONOMETRY, HISTORY, GRAMMAR AND READING COMPREHENSION, buy a watch to keep track of time, learn how to write an essay fastly in just 15 minutes with complete introduction, arguement, examples and conclusion, and listen to your teachers. And when ACET day comes, you'll discover that the ACET is more than an entrance exam. It may be one unfinishable exam but you'll discover that you're in for a wonderful kind of adventure whether you'll pass or not.
The essay part- after answering the English part(it was kinda easy coz they were mostly those questions sir Manto used to ask us in quizzes and exams- yeah i owed a great deal with him even if he's kinda strict), we were given out a question to answer in essay form. Unfortunately most of us had only 15 minutes to do the essay befores up for the English. Actually, my essay was missing a good conclusion, i was still in the middle of giving out a good arguement and example- Im not talking about Tokio Hotel here. ;)
The math part- Earlier that morning, i overheard some parents who were talking about the ACET. Some of their children's friends took the ACET on Manila yesterday and they told that the math part was really hard. I admit the math part was hard, that is the problem solving part(which is the Numerical Ability on the aptitude test part later on). But the math on the red test paper was fairly easy. Like on the english with sir Manto, the math one was kinda like what sir Ian mostly asks us about(except for the trigonometry part). When i was answering the f of x and synthetic division part, I imagined sir Ian beside me playing with a psp and telling me "Ay lugeh ka ngayon". That made me mutter out "Lugeh ka ngayon..."
General Information- My favorite part in the aptitude test since most questions were based from history and im such a history buff. There were also those science questions but at least those mole fractions, avogadro's law, gay lussac's law and chemistry computations were gone but in the numerical ability there were those compuations for Physics.
Reading Comphrehension- This was the explitly, kinda lustful one. There was a reading there about dreams and what dreams really serves as for people. I read there that dreams were like the thoughts hidden in our minds that we completly deny which only submerge when we're asleep. So my first thought about it went to Bill Kaulitz, whom i dreamed a few times "doing it" with him. Gasp, that means i want some pornographic moment with Bill?!!... i thought. Of all things that i can recall during the ACET like Sisa, Basilio, Yael Yuzon, sir Manny, Crispin, Hermione Granger, why should it be my very deep, intimate moment with Bill that never really happened?
Like if Bill was really there beside me at that very moment and he can read minds like his idol Edward Cullen, he would've slapped me multiple times and cursed me in German that i'll not pass the ACET.
So my tips for those who'll be taking the ACET next year, study well in PROBLEM SOLVING, STATISTICS and TRIGONOMETRY, HISTORY, GRAMMAR AND READING COMPREHENSION, buy a watch to keep track of time, learn how to write an essay fastly in just 15 minutes with complete introduction, arguement, examples and conclusion, and listen to your teachers. And when ACET day comes, you'll discover that the ACET is more than an entrance exam. It may be one unfinishable exam but you'll discover that you're in for a wonderful kind of adventure whether you'll pass or not.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
