Last tuesday there was no classes so i decided to visit my long time best friend and fellow Montessori alumni Gt Hidalgo. In his condo room, Gt and i exchanged some news from Montessori that we both find terrifying. It turned out that Gt also shared the same kind of view on the present condition of Montessori. According to Gt, Montessori turned into something like "Love in the club..." and that students there, instead of treating each other as something like brothers and sisters(like we used to do) and usually having romatic relationships from kids from other schools, they just hook up with each other. It seemed like everyone in Montessori has his/her own romantic partner or someone to be linked with. Kash Kraft(Mrs. Dancing Zombie's lil sis) now has a boyfriend and (you'll never guess who he is...) he is none other than the kid who piss Montessori off big time, VK Castillo(HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...lolz). And the worst thing there is that those people who should discourage these kinds of things and set examples are the ones who are fucking propagating this kind of balderdash. Wendy used to get into a fight with Xurt everytime she would try to get close with him, until one(totally unfortunate) day, she sought the help of her bffs Elyzza, Kassel, Twinkle and Abby. One day, they went to SM Lipa to celebrate Twinkle's birthday by inviting Karlo and Xurt. Then kaboom... Wendy successfully had Xurt worshiping on her feet and stripped Xurt's affections for me. The prospects of Xurt coming back to me is bleak and unclear. This will go on just as long as those 5 girls are still together(that means they haven't left for college yet) and when the time comes that they will depart from each other the way our closely-knit batch departed, im afraid that Xurt will have no feelings for me anymore. But i will be so happy if one day someone doorbelled my condo in Loyola Heights or looked for me in school and it turned out to be Xurt with a bouquet of roses(or other flowers) and a box of chocolates, smiling that seemed to be sunshine like the last time we met.
Back to the IJ Montessori is being a second-rate, trying hard, copycat version of Powhvedahh, Montessori is being like a phoney version of Poveda since both are into romance, boys, flirtiness and speaking Spanish(Hey did you know, the new teacher who looks like JR, sir JP teaches the High School in Espanyol). Thank God for Povedans at least they do super well in school and they value their education more. those from Montessori dont care about education and how it will affect them anymore, they dont even do their responsibilities as student leaders. All they value the most in their lives is popularity and how to satisfy their testosterones and kilig hormones.
Montessori is really going crazy.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
The unbearable seach and lightness of being
It has been almost a week since i bid my farewell to Xurt as his lover and it was a feeling that made me feel so light and free for the first time but at the same time so unbearable. It has been almost a week too when i first read the first part of Milan Kundera's book "The Unbearable Lightness of being" in which it explains what lightness/heaviness is and the myth of eternal return- both of which fit my situation. Also, a few days before that, i read some things in Edgar Calabia Samar's book "Ang mga diwata ng pagkahulog" that startled me as well
My love for Xurt was a really beautiful kind of love- it was so sweet, secure and as soft as marshmallow. But that love was being weighed down with jealousy, distrust, betrayal of oneself and the stress of a long distant relationship(even though we never become each other). Sadly though, there came a time when his affections were transferred back to Wendy and i have to exit out of his love life. All was left was nothing but the beauty of the memory of the love we had and friendship without much interaction(as if the last time we talked was the JS and we just hanged out as...friends). Before, i was being weighted down with problems, misery and pain, all because i longed for the burden of his embrace. Then there was lightness at last but it was unbearable. It was unbearable because the beauty of my love for him keeps on coming back but the guy who used to love me too will never come back. When we experience something, they are not that special or we take for granted those that are actually happening to us and we often treat them as burdens or things that weigh us down. But when we lose the things that brings us down to earth, we tend to feel as light as air but we began to feel the burden of losing those things that makes us closer to earth. All that remained is the beauty and the preciousness of the things we lost and so painful that we wish that they will come back to us.
"Hindi na natin madadaanan ang mga daan na hindi natin pinili. Kung gayon man, ang mga pangyayari ay paulit ulit kahit pa masabi natin na umuunlad tayo. Sa una, mukhang magkakaiba ang ibig sabihin ng mga pangyayari pero iisa lamang sila." and "Pag ang mga tao ay may hinahanap, iba ang nahahanap nila pero sa huli masaya pa rin sila"- pinsan ni kevin
It's like i found the friend i lost a long time ago but now i lost the lover i found in the friend i was long looking for. When i decided to give up, let go and move on, it was certainly like my last sportsfest. I searched among the crowd from Lipa for any signs of my two peeps but i gave up because what is the use of looking for some people whom you don't recognize anymore and don't even know their last names. But the only difference was that i have no terrible feeling with giving up the search(only pagkahinayang)and it took me a second to decide to find them again or just give up.
... Bahala na si Saint Iggy. :|
My love for Xurt was a really beautiful kind of love- it was so sweet, secure and as soft as marshmallow. But that love was being weighed down with jealousy, distrust, betrayal of oneself and the stress of a long distant relationship(even though we never become each other). Sadly though, there came a time when his affections were transferred back to Wendy and i have to exit out of his love life. All was left was nothing but the beauty of the memory of the love we had and friendship without much interaction(as if the last time we talked was the JS and we just hanged out as...friends). Before, i was being weighted down with problems, misery and pain, all because i longed for the burden of his embrace. Then there was lightness at last but it was unbearable. It was unbearable because the beauty of my love for him keeps on coming back but the guy who used to love me too will never come back. When we experience something, they are not that special or we take for granted those that are actually happening to us and we often treat them as burdens or things that weigh us down. But when we lose the things that brings us down to earth, we tend to feel as light as air but we began to feel the burden of losing those things that makes us closer to earth. All that remained is the beauty and the preciousness of the things we lost and so painful that we wish that they will come back to us.
"Hindi na natin madadaanan ang mga daan na hindi natin pinili. Kung gayon man, ang mga pangyayari ay paulit ulit kahit pa masabi natin na umuunlad tayo. Sa una, mukhang magkakaiba ang ibig sabihin ng mga pangyayari pero iisa lamang sila." and "Pag ang mga tao ay may hinahanap, iba ang nahahanap nila pero sa huli masaya pa rin sila"- pinsan ni kevin
It's like i found the friend i lost a long time ago but now i lost the lover i found in the friend i was long looking for. When i decided to give up, let go and move on, it was certainly like my last sportsfest. I searched among the crowd from Lipa for any signs of my two peeps but i gave up because what is the use of looking for some people whom you don't recognize anymore and don't even know their last names. But the only difference was that i have no terrible feeling with giving up the search(only pagkahinayang)and it took me a second to decide to find them again or just give up.
... Bahala na si Saint Iggy. :|
Saturday, October 30, 2010
"Chiquitita"- Ateneo version
During my super depression/Hell month, I was not only striken with piles of projects, long tests and assignments but my personal life also went terrible that almost everyday i come home from school(where i use the internet most of the time) crying. Each and everyday feels like another day of misery, trying all sorts of things to divert and make myself feel good(even doing some of the most stupidest things), wishing things were back like those days being so happy together with Xurt. The first love of my life(that i just realized because of my councilor Sir Alcazar) who isn't a family or a relative ditched me because i was a super insanely jealous, insecure bitch. He then transferred his feelings for Wendy de Villar(again, wtf)and this time his feelings for her is deeper because she's not like me(of course, there's only one me in this world). I remember on my past blog post that if that day happened, i felt that i will be okay but actually it turned out that i won't be okay. It's probably because Xurt haven't triggered my romantic feelings and made me feel attached to him yet that time or i was too ignorant. Anyway, that period is the worst but thankfully, i got friends in Ateneo(and Montessori- and even Xurt himself) who are there to support me.
Manang's, Monday, September 6,2010, 9:30 AM.
A few minutes ago, Xurt and I had a very much heated arguement(nakakaiba to the highest level) about my tighfulness and agreed not
to talk to each other until Sportsfest. I was so shocked because a day before, he was still the nice, affectionate, loving and forgiving Xurt but now he turned dead cold and started to hurl my negative side on me.
Lester: Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong
You're enchained by your own sorrow...
Lychee(who noticed that my eyes are red):In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow
Jess: How I hate to see you like this
There is no way you can deny it
Cov courts, Monday, September 6,2010, around 10:30 AM.
During fencing class, i can't focus hitting on my opponent in one fencing match. Jaime, the referee, noticed my lack of concentration.
Jaime: I can see that you're oh so sad, so quiet...
Berchmans 307, Monday, September 6,2010, 11:30 AM.
As i entered Filipino class, Anjo noticed that i don't look so happy that i am about to cry
Anjo: Chiquitita, tell me the truth
I'm a shoulder you can cry on...
Then, i remember one conversation i had with Jonathan on the phone some weeks ago.
Jonathan(on the phone): Your best friend, I'm the one you must rely on
CTC 303, Monday, September 6,2010, 1:40 PM
I came to EN 11 class sobbing quietly shortly after i saw pictures of Xurt being with Karlo, Abby, Muje, Kassel, Kash and ... Wendy(bunuhnuhnuhhh). Those photos lead me to think about Xurt's strange attitude.
JR(saw me sobbing but i told him that i have allergy or cold or some alibi coz i don't want to talk about my condition): You were always sure of yourself
Now I see you've broken a feather
Atrio(reenacting Walang Sugat): see you cry how it hurts to see you sad...
JR(putting up an "Are you sure?" face): I hope we can patch it up together
The next day, when Ateneo feels something like Tokio Hotel's "1000 Meere" music video, following a SUPER DUPER MEGA TO THE NTH POWER ONE BIG FIGHT with Xurt last night.
Red brick road, Tuesday, September 7,2010, 8:50 AM
Everyone that i pass by in school: Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
SEC-A 124, Tuesday, September 7,2010, 9:00 AM
Mrs Ki Shan Tan(entering the classroom): You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end... (then i felt confortable with her coz she's a Hong Konger- what i was before i met Xurt again on the JS, thus diverting me from Xurt for a while)
SEC-A 224, Tuesday, September 7,2010, 12:00 PM
Sir Claveria(announcing the upcoming Long Test on thursday): You will have no time for grieving
My ES 10 classmates who are also my blockmates(Lester, Jaime, Dustin, Mel, Ebib, Kc, Anjo, Maui and Colene): Chiquitita, you and I cry...
SEC-A 124, Thursday, September 9,2010, 9:30 AM
Mrs. Ki Shan Tan gave us the results of our Midterms or a seatwork (not sure what it is but the results of it were something that enlightened me)
Mrs Ki Shan Tan: But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
SEC-A 224, Tuesday, September 7,2010, 12:00 PM
The long test on ES 10
Whole ES 10 class: Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Friday, September 10, 2010
My blockmates(as they complain about the second long test of Fil 11):
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
The next week...
Everyone i pass by in Red Brick Road: So the walls came tumbling down
Everyone on the information commons as i look miserably at Xurt and Wendy's sweet nothings on fb: And your love's a blown out candle
Everyone as i began to sob out(me wishing all those shit that Xurt and Wendy make would stop and they should fight against each other): All is gone and it seems too hard to handle
Berchmans 307, second week of September, 11:30 AM
Sir Maky gave me the result of my first Filipino fiction paper about "Walang Sugat" which was written during the first day of my heartbreak. It got me a bloody 70 or aka a D.
Sir Maky: Chiquitita, tell me the truth...
There is no way you can deny it
I see that you're oh so sad, so quiet
As the weeks passed by and everybody began to notice how emo am i becoming...
JR(when he was telling me that he experienced this same shit): Chiquitita, you and I know...
Abby Cabrito(who was saying this as though she was part of a competitor's company and my company lost huge investments in the stock market): How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
(Back up voices singing ".. how you are brokenhearted, etc...) are from Isagani and the actress who played Julia in Tanghalang Ateneo's "Walang Sugat")
JR(relating his experiences that it took him a month to recover): You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
Sir Bj Patiño(after telling that we have to make an evaluation essay aside the feature essay): You will have no time for grieving
MVP entrance near Kostka, September 30, 2010, 5:30-6:00 PM
Students in MVP while watching the Mens Basketball finals: Chiquitita, you and I cry
Students in MVP while the players of the Mens basketball team joined the singing as Ateneo won Three-peat(yes, even EMINEM aka Kirk Long is included): But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you...
One afternoon, chatting with Xurt on fb about my painful condition(bad idea)
Xurt Diaz: Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita...
One Lit 13 class(It was monday, i think), Sir Francis Sollano gave out my First Fiction paper(about the "Hitch hiking Game" by Milan Kundera and my fiction paper related in one part about me and Xurt when we were still happy together) that got me a B+(gawa daw ni Xurt-lolz)
Sir Francis(winking): Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Loyola Schools Guidance Office, Thursday, October 14, 2010, 3:00 PM
Sir Alcazar: Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquititaaaaah...
Manang's, Monday, September 6,2010, 9:30 AM.
A few minutes ago, Xurt and I had a very much heated arguement(nakakaiba to the highest level) about my tighfulness and agreed not
to talk to each other until Sportsfest. I was so shocked because a day before, he was still the nice, affectionate, loving and forgiving Xurt but now he turned dead cold and started to hurl my negative side on me.
Lester: Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong
You're enchained by your own sorrow...
Lychee(who noticed that my eyes are red):In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow
Jess: How I hate to see you like this
There is no way you can deny it
Cov courts, Monday, September 6,2010, around 10:30 AM.
During fencing class, i can't focus hitting on my opponent in one fencing match. Jaime, the referee, noticed my lack of concentration.
Jaime: I can see that you're oh so sad, so quiet...
Berchmans 307, Monday, September 6,2010, 11:30 AM.
As i entered Filipino class, Anjo noticed that i don't look so happy that i am about to cry
Anjo: Chiquitita, tell me the truth
I'm a shoulder you can cry on...
Then, i remember one conversation i had with Jonathan on the phone some weeks ago.
Jonathan(on the phone): Your best friend, I'm the one you must rely on
CTC 303, Monday, September 6,2010, 1:40 PM
I came to EN 11 class sobbing quietly shortly after i saw pictures of Xurt being with Karlo, Abby, Muje, Kassel, Kash and ... Wendy(bunuhnuhnuhhh). Those photos lead me to think about Xurt's strange attitude.
JR(saw me sobbing but i told him that i have allergy or cold or some alibi coz i don't want to talk about my condition): You were always sure of yourself
Now I see you've broken a feather
Atrio(reenacting Walang Sugat): see you cry how it hurts to see you sad...
JR(putting up an "Are you sure?" face): I hope we can patch it up together
The next day, when Ateneo feels something like Tokio Hotel's "1000 Meere" music video, following a SUPER DUPER MEGA TO THE NTH POWER ONE BIG FIGHT with Xurt last night.
Red brick road, Tuesday, September 7,2010, 8:50 AM
Everyone that i pass by in school: Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
SEC-A 124, Tuesday, September 7,2010, 9:00 AM
Mrs Ki Shan Tan(entering the classroom): You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end... (then i felt confortable with her coz she's a Hong Konger- what i was before i met Xurt again on the JS, thus diverting me from Xurt for a while)
SEC-A 224, Tuesday, September 7,2010, 12:00 PM
Sir Claveria(announcing the upcoming Long Test on thursday): You will have no time for grieving
My ES 10 classmates who are also my blockmates(Lester, Jaime, Dustin, Mel, Ebib, Kc, Anjo, Maui and Colene): Chiquitita, you and I cry...
SEC-A 124, Thursday, September 9,2010, 9:30 AM
Mrs. Ki Shan Tan gave us the results of our Midterms or a seatwork (not sure what it is but the results of it were something that enlightened me)
Mrs Ki Shan Tan: But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
SEC-A 224, Tuesday, September 7,2010, 12:00 PM
The long test on ES 10
Whole ES 10 class: Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Friday, September 10, 2010
My blockmates(as they complain about the second long test of Fil 11):
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
The next week...
Everyone i pass by in Red Brick Road: So the walls came tumbling down
Everyone on the information commons as i look miserably at Xurt and Wendy's sweet nothings on fb: And your love's a blown out candle
Everyone as i began to sob out(me wishing all those shit that Xurt and Wendy make would stop and they should fight against each other): All is gone and it seems too hard to handle
Berchmans 307, second week of September, 11:30 AM
Sir Maky gave me the result of my first Filipino fiction paper about "Walang Sugat" which was written during the first day of my heartbreak. It got me a bloody 70 or aka a D.
Sir Maky: Chiquitita, tell me the truth...
There is no way you can deny it
I see that you're oh so sad, so quiet
As the weeks passed by and everybody began to notice how emo am i becoming...
JR(when he was telling me that he experienced this same shit): Chiquitita, you and I know...
Abby Cabrito(who was saying this as though she was part of a competitor's company and my company lost huge investments in the stock market): How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
(Back up voices singing ".. how you are brokenhearted, etc...) are from Isagani and the actress who played Julia in Tanghalang Ateneo's "Walang Sugat")
JR(relating his experiences that it took him a month to recover): You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
Sir Bj Patiño(after telling that we have to make an evaluation essay aside the feature essay): You will have no time for grieving
MVP entrance near Kostka, September 30, 2010, 5:30-6:00 PM
Students in MVP while watching the Mens Basketball finals: Chiquitita, you and I cry
Students in MVP while the players of the Mens basketball team joined the singing as Ateneo won Three-peat(yes, even EMINEM aka Kirk Long is included): But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you...
One afternoon, chatting with Xurt on fb about my painful condition(bad idea)
Xurt Diaz: Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita...
One Lit 13 class(It was monday, i think), Sir Francis Sollano gave out my First Fiction paper(about the "Hitch hiking Game" by Milan Kundera and my fiction paper related in one part about me and Xurt when we were still happy together) that got me a B+(gawa daw ni Xurt-lolz)
Sir Francis(winking): Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Loyola Schools Guidance Office, Thursday, October 14, 2010, 3:00 PM
Sir Alcazar: Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquititaaaaah...
The blissful days of love
The first time when you've fell in love for someone is one feeling that seemed to be so giddy, so exciting, a bit mellow yet full of uncertainties ahead. It's the first time you have stepped on a realm that seemed to be tailor-fit in your circumstances and possibilities. Each and every day, people seemed to notice that you're more pleasurable to be with, you seemed to be more lighthearted, inspired and lovely.
After the ORSEM, i decided not to communicate much with Xurt because i felt back then that he would be a distraction with my studies and I was a bit pissed off with him(because of his stint with Wendy). I remember on my first day of classes, i began to read in Xurt's facebook wall post made by him that he has found the girl he was looking for. Obviously, based from the descriptions he made about the girl he was describing , that girl was me. He describes how the eyes of his beloved were sparkling and wonderful, how he feels so sweet, loved and special when he's with that girl, and that she was the girl he was looking for. The girl he was pertaining to couldn't be Wendy because also in the wall there are full of disses and rudeness from her. Then my speculations were confirmed when he texted me so sweetly(as sugar) after class(of first day) asking me how i am in school and he had such a very nice day because he discovered something that made him really happy. I wondered what it was he discovered, but i was a bit indifferent so i kindly told Xurt not to text me much on schooldays because im going to go busy. Inside of me, i was happy that i let go of something that will possibly distract me from my studies but sad because i will miss the daily sweet nothings i get from Xurt. But at least there are days that we call as "Weekends" and ever since then, my weekends aren't complete without communicating with him.
Even though he was so sweet and affectionate with me, i was still a bit upset, cynical and distrustful with him. But soon, i found myself taking for granted his downpour of affection and his constant remindings that i am the sweetest girl he had ever met, the person whom he's dedicating his life to...
After the ORSEM, i decided not to communicate much with Xurt because i felt back then that he would be a distraction with my studies and I was a bit pissed off with him(because of his stint with Wendy). I remember on my first day of classes, i began to read in Xurt's facebook wall post made by him that he has found the girl he was looking for. Obviously, based from the descriptions he made about the girl he was describing , that girl was me. He describes how the eyes of his beloved were sparkling and wonderful, how he feels so sweet, loved and special when he's with that girl, and that she was the girl he was looking for. The girl he was pertaining to couldn't be Wendy because also in the wall there are full of disses and rudeness from her. Then my speculations were confirmed when he texted me so sweetly(as sugar) after class(of first day) asking me how i am in school and he had such a very nice day because he discovered something that made him really happy. I wondered what it was he discovered, but i was a bit indifferent so i kindly told Xurt not to text me much on schooldays because im going to go busy. Inside of me, i was happy that i let go of something that will possibly distract me from my studies but sad because i will miss the daily sweet nothings i get from Xurt. But at least there are days that we call as "Weekends" and ever since then, my weekends aren't complete without communicating with him.
Even though he was so sweet and affectionate with me, i was still a bit upset, cynical and distrustful with him. But soon, i found myself taking for granted his downpour of affection and his constant remindings that i am the sweetest girl he had ever met, the person whom he's dedicating his life to...
Friday, August 20, 2010
Montessori is so sabaw... :/
Every saturday, i keep in touch with my best friends Jonathan and Mark Malabanan through phone calls.
During those 30 minute-1 hour calls, we talked about our separate lives- my stay in Ateneo, who
my new friends are, what kind of education i get there("Is college hard, ate Irish?" Mark once asked me),
how are they doing in IJMCP without me and most of all the latest news and gossips from my old
Alma-mater. Sadly though, i couldn't help but feel depressed about the current
condition of Montessori. Montessori certainly changed a lot since my classmates and i left
... in a bad way.
As the weeks progressed, all the news about Montessori from my best friends grew worse and much worse.
Montessori sounded like it lost much of its' good, old excellence and care for its students that i once
enjoyed. "Palala na ng palala ang Montessori, parang nagiging wild na
talaga ang mga studyante dun..." lamented Jonathan after he told me the news of HS students like Ashley, NR,
Dave, Darwin and Hannah slashing wrists. From the way he lamented, i felt nothing but pity for Jonathan, Mark
and their other siblings(Emerson, Clarisse and James) for being in a besmirched, bleak Montessori.
Montessori is getting worse in both the academic and social fields.
One of the first news i heard from my best friends is that most of all the great teachers- sir Ian,
sir Manto, t. Anna, sir Ernest, etc- left because of meager salary(i couldn't blame them for leaving coz
they only receive less than PHP 10,000 a month- much smaller than what my current teachers earn every month),
poorer facilities and the wild, disorderly, raucous attitude of students there. So they were eventually
replaced with inexperienced, newlygrad teachers who were hoodwinked with the thought that Montessori pays a higher salary than
other private schools in San Pablo, it's well air-conditioned and it has students who were highly intelligent, meticulous, observant
neat, truthful, energetic, sociable, sincere, obedient, respectful and independent(aka MONTESSORI acronym-LOL)
who will enlighten them as well as shower them with affection and love. But poor them, instead they faced
life dealing with riotous, troublesome "Montessorians" who treat them with little or no respect nor
consideration, sleepless nights preparing lessons or events and worse of all, a scanty paycheck that they
often receive so late. I remember one time, Mark told me that they had a teacher who told them the reason
why she chose to teach in Montessori. She thought that Montessori was a really great school with
wonderful students, but instead it was the opposite of what she expected. She and other faculty members
felt so deceived and cheated as they began to teach in Montessori. Some teachers can't take
the madness of IJMCP anymore that they resigned and went some place else. All the remaining teachers don't
have the motivation to teach students well- out of the physical, mental and psychological exhaustion they
faced in Montessori. I couldn't blame them as well if next year they'll have a huge Montessorian
exodus the way sir Ian and all the others left the school.
Aside from the state of academic calamity the school is experiencing right now, Jonathan and Mark also
kept me well-informed about the current personal(and troublesome) lives of highschoolers in Montessori.
There were exposes, scandals, melodrama(ala xoxo, Gossip Girl) as well as the plain, stupid mischief made by guys
like Raymond, Mamay(Anthony), Dave, Jawo, Ervyn and all the others. All of them were just as shocking
as well as hilarious. As of August 7, 2010, Jonathan announced two new, love triangles: Raymond Ortega and
Hannah Cabrito(and Miguel Alfonso) and the Twinkle-Jawee-Jey love triangle(OMFG!!!!). Raymond recently hooked up with
Hannah(since Miguel also sumakabilang school din), and Jonathan also told me that may nangyayaring kababalaghan(ang ganda
ng term nya ah) between the two.
Jonathan told me that there's something happening between Twinkle and Jawee(
naging sila... since last year pa!!!), then Jey butts in along(coz she had a crush on Joey), then Joey left Twinkle and hooked up with Jey. But it was okay with Twinkle,
coz she was glad that she can focus more on her studies and keep her grades higher than last year(Yay, Twinkle!!).
If that kind of thing happened with me, Xurt and Wendy(since recently Wendymonia is implying that she crushes on Xurt-OH MY GULAY).
I think i'll celebrate coz i might be able to get B+s or shiny As on my grades, if ever i'll cry, i'll just
cry it off, get my beer stein from JR, fill it with Heineken and drink it out(then i'll probably blurt out in
Cantonese until im sober-the opposite effect on uncle Rocky). Speaking of Wendymonia, Mark often overheard
Muje teasing Wendy about Xurt(especially during the cooking fest)- ah ah, porket sumakabilang school
ako, ginaganyan na nila ako!!!! Then Mamay professed that he has a crush on Wendymonia(bagay sila).
The Jawo got a wart on his forehead so he became a "unicorn", Raymond threw water bottles on a tricycle
driver and Kassel is still in love with Michael Jackson.
Siiiiigh, im so glad to be where i am right now. I thought if you were in college, you would rather go back
to your highschool life, but looking at the way highschool is at the moment, i can't help but
think i would rather be in the comforts of (airconditioned) Rizal Lib studying for my
math 1 long test than face the taunts and pandemonium of Montessori life. I only hope that someday, life in
Montessori will be as happy and wonderful as Ateneo for both students and teachers alike. If only people
there will push some more magis, cura personalis and some awesome stuffs like vending machines, wifi-ed
campus, flatscreen computers, larger libraries with comfty chairs and some Harry Potter-ish magic then it would be really
fabilioh. ;)
During those 30 minute-1 hour calls, we talked about our separate lives- my stay in Ateneo, who
my new friends are, what kind of education i get there("Is college hard, ate Irish?" Mark once asked me),
how are they doing in IJMCP without me and most of all the latest news and gossips from my old
Alma-mater. Sadly though, i couldn't help but feel depressed about the current
condition of Montessori. Montessori certainly changed a lot since my classmates and i left
... in a bad way.
As the weeks progressed, all the news about Montessori from my best friends grew worse and much worse.
Montessori sounded like it lost much of its' good, old excellence and care for its students that i once
enjoyed. "Palala na ng palala ang Montessori, parang nagiging wild na
talaga ang mga studyante dun..." lamented Jonathan after he told me the news of HS students like Ashley, NR,
Dave, Darwin and Hannah slashing wrists. From the way he lamented, i felt nothing but pity for Jonathan, Mark
and their other siblings(Emerson, Clarisse and James) for being in a besmirched, bleak Montessori.
Montessori is getting worse in both the academic and social fields.
One of the first news i heard from my best friends is that most of all the great teachers- sir Ian,
sir Manto, t. Anna, sir Ernest, etc- left because of meager salary(i couldn't blame them for leaving coz
they only receive less than PHP 10,000 a month- much smaller than what my current teachers earn every month),
poorer facilities and the wild, disorderly, raucous attitude of students there. So they were eventually
replaced with inexperienced, newlygrad teachers who were hoodwinked with the thought that Montessori pays a higher salary than
other private schools in San Pablo, it's well air-conditioned and it has students who were highly intelligent, meticulous, observant
neat, truthful, energetic, sociable, sincere, obedient, respectful and independent(aka MONTESSORI acronym-LOL)
who will enlighten them as well as shower them with affection and love. But poor them, instead they faced
life dealing with riotous, troublesome "Montessorians" who treat them with little or no respect nor
consideration, sleepless nights preparing lessons or events and worse of all, a scanty paycheck that they
often receive so late. I remember one time, Mark told me that they had a teacher who told them the reason
why she chose to teach in Montessori. She thought that Montessori was a really great school with
wonderful students, but instead it was the opposite of what she expected. She and other faculty members
felt so deceived and cheated as they began to teach in Montessori. Some teachers can't take
the madness of IJMCP anymore that they resigned and went some place else. All the remaining teachers don't
have the motivation to teach students well- out of the physical, mental and psychological exhaustion they
faced in Montessori. I couldn't blame them as well if next year they'll have a huge Montessorian
exodus the way sir Ian and all the others left the school.
Aside from the state of academic calamity the school is experiencing right now, Jonathan and Mark also
kept me well-informed about the current personal(and troublesome) lives of highschoolers in Montessori.
There were exposes, scandals, melodrama(ala xoxo, Gossip Girl) as well as the plain, stupid mischief made by guys
like Raymond, Mamay(Anthony), Dave, Jawo, Ervyn and all the others. All of them were just as shocking
as well as hilarious. As of August 7, 2010, Jonathan announced two new, love triangles: Raymond Ortega and
Hannah Cabrito(and Miguel Alfonso) and the Twinkle-Jawee-Jey love triangle(OMFG!!!!). Raymond recently hooked up with
Hannah(since Miguel also sumakabilang school din), and Jonathan also told me that may nangyayaring kababalaghan(ang ganda
ng term nya ah) between the two.
Jonathan told me that there's something happening between Twinkle and Jawee(
naging sila... since last year pa!!!), then Jey butts in along(coz she had a crush on Joey), then Joey left Twinkle and hooked up with Jey. But it was okay with Twinkle,
coz she was glad that she can focus more on her studies and keep her grades higher than last year(Yay, Twinkle!!).
If that kind of thing happened with me, Xurt and Wendy(since recently Wendymonia is implying that she crushes on Xurt-OH MY GULAY).
I think i'll celebrate coz i might be able to get B+s or shiny As on my grades, if ever i'll cry, i'll just
cry it off, get my beer stein from JR, fill it with Heineken and drink it out(then i'll probably blurt out in
Cantonese until im sober-the opposite effect on uncle Rocky). Speaking of Wendymonia, Mark often overheard
Muje teasing Wendy about Xurt(especially during the cooking fest)- ah ah, porket sumakabilang school
ako, ginaganyan na nila ako!!!! Then Mamay professed that he has a crush on Wendymonia(bagay sila).
The Jawo got a wart on his forehead so he became a "unicorn", Raymond threw water bottles on a tricycle
driver and Kassel is still in love with Michael Jackson.
Siiiiigh, im so glad to be where i am right now. I thought if you were in college, you would rather go back
to your highschool life, but looking at the way highschool is at the moment, i can't help but
think i would rather be in the comforts of (airconditioned) Rizal Lib studying for my
math 1 long test than face the taunts and pandemonium of Montessori life. I only hope that someday, life in
Montessori will be as happy and wonderful as Ateneo for both students and teachers alike. If only people
there will push some more magis, cura personalis and some awesome stuffs like vending machines, wifi-ed
campus, flatscreen computers, larger libraries with comfty chairs and some Harry Potter-ish magic then it would be really
fabilioh. ;)
Friday, June 4, 2010
Health is wealth... dad didn't know that
This morning, my dad got mad at me for getting myself needled for chickenpox(a requirement in school), he was furious because it costs PHP 3000. I admit it was expensive, but at least it's for my own health. Health is wealth, they say, and i thought dad knows everything(like he claimed to-lol), but he was down there disappointed at me as if i spent those 3000 pesos on stardollars, partying, drinking out or on some guy. He was like "You spent 4000 yesterday(pertaining to my wisdom teeth extraction), and now you spent 3000!! What's next tomorrow?! 5000??!!" like i blown the 4000 yesterday and the 3000 today on useless stuffs.
My dad always want what he thinks is beneficial to him, he doesn't think of my sister and I's own welfare, well being or our own good. He only love himself and he is selfish. I thought our health is an important thing but he seemed to give more importance to his faithful, fucking commissioners, their ugly shit children and ahma.
If (ever- i don't know) im going to have a child(or children), i will never do what dad did to me. I will never hesitate to spend a huge fortune just for my kids to have good health. In fact, it's a great investment because you might never know they'll get a more serious disease.
My dad always want what he thinks is beneficial to him, he doesn't think of my sister and I's own welfare, well being or our own good. He only love himself and he is selfish. I thought our health is an important thing but he seemed to give more importance to his faithful, fucking commissioners, their ugly shit children and ahma.
If (ever- i don't know) im going to have a child(or children), i will never do what dad did to me. I will never hesitate to spend a huge fortune just for my kids to have good health. In fact, it's a great investment because you might never know they'll get a more serious disease.
"Mein freund"
I was just browsing around my old school notebooks when i found this song from my Third Year MAPEH notes. It was a song that i composed in one of sir Cris' last music lessons to us.
In a stanza, you can have 3-4 lines. And you can have 6 syllables in a line. It's also important to have a theme for a song, e.g you life, love, your dog, etc.
This song that i composed was about Bill Kaulitz, when i still believed about the balderdash Audrina fed to me. But still, she made my life a bit wonderful even though i lived in a lie. It was during a time when Bill was still looking cool with his lion mane and he never dares to wear much girlier clothes unlike the present.
In a stanza, you can have 3-4 lines. And you can have 6 syllables in a line. It's also important to have a theme for a song, e.g you life, love, your dog, etc.
This song that i composed was about Bill Kaulitz, when i still believed about the balderdash Audrina fed to me. But still, she made my life a bit wonderful even though i lived in a lie. It was during a time when Bill was still looking cool with his lion mane and he never dares to wear much girlier clothes unlike the present.
Mein freund
Felt vexed a month ago,
my heart broke in two.
Never expect you'll come
like a light of a dawn,
felt your love right now.
Chorus:
It's so hard to believe
from all the rumors heard,
i still say "carry on"
and smile along the way.
Your voice lingers my head
and gave me hope as well.
Now i wont give a damn
to all those who break me
and my own love for you.
No one knows our friendship
and our "folie a deux"
It's a well kept secret
only you and me know.
Im so glad we're now friends
like never wished it'll end.
(repeat chorus)
Would you still stay with me?
to wipe tears in my eyes,
and a shoulder to cry.
Now you're sliding away,
who's gonna save me now?
(repeat chorus)
Felt vexed a month ago,
my heart broke in two.
Never expect you'll come
like a light of a dawn,
felt your love right now.
Chorus:
It's so hard to believe
from all the rumors heard,
i still say "carry on"
and smile along the way.
Your voice lingers my head
and gave me hope as well.
Now i wont give a damn
to all those who break me
and my own love for you.
No one knows our friendship
and our "folie a deux"
It's a well kept secret
only you and me know.
Im so glad we're now friends
like never wished it'll end.
(repeat chorus)
Would you still stay with me?
to wipe tears in my eyes,
and a shoulder to cry.
Now you're sliding away,
who's gonna save me now?
(repeat chorus)
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